Did I mess up? (Long post)

I posted this to another mental health forum as well as to two listeners to no response. Please, if I messed up, tell me.

So, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I'm still conflicted on whether or not I just destroyed my chance at happiness for no reason. I don't know where to start, so I'm just gonna tell our story. We're both adults, so I'd prefer if adults gave advice.

We met five years ago online. We were both kids interested in the same things, so we quickly became friends. I had always known he to be, and I mean this in the best possible sense, fucked up. He's been through it and, while I won't disclose his traumas, the important part is that it had a massive impact on his perception of his own identity and security. He was known to delete accounts out of the blue, change names, change genders. He's had every label at least once, and cycles out interests every other week.

Three years into our friendship, he left me. He was afraid of me and, though I don