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Chronic health issues and a spouse who doesn’t understand

SensitiveHuman14 August 28th, 2022

My husband and I have been married for 16 years. When we met, I had been dealing with migraines and endometriosis. Pain was the norm for me. We still went out and did things because I could just push the the pain. We dated for three years before we got married, so he was used to how much pain I could be in.

As time has gone on, however, I have been diagnosed with several new chronic health issues: fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, narcolepsy with cataplexy… I am exhausted, nauseous, irritable, and uncomfortable 24/7.

I have been lucky that I have not had to work since we have been married (his idea). I have worked part time, but I have mostly been a stay at home mom. I have always been the one to take care of everyone and everything. I pay the bills and go grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning…it has all been on me. Now, he gets irritated and blames me for not taking care of the house. I try to ask for help, from him or our kids and no one seems to listen.

The “D” word has come up a few times now. I am too tired to keep fighting, which seems like all we do anymore. He resents me for my health issues. Like I’m enjoying feeling terrible all of the time… I am just not sure what to do.

1
toughTiger6481 August 28th, 2022

I am sorry you are going through this....

Illness takes it all out of us we become different and we do not see it either.... maybe he is just needing a change of pace and a new outlook take sometime reconnect and understanding of a condition does NOT make a person NOT wish it would go away or improve.

It happens more often then you think even the best spouse can tire of feeling like carrying the load

i was TOLD years ago when he had us move for his career i no longer needed to work i stayed working then for the last year i took a year off..i always did all house but stepped it up in last year as well...

he became awful he will NEVER admit it but they do not see the work and time yard work and all daily chore are......i know he is in a rut