Break up after 3 years
My boyfriend broke up with me today & it would have been our 3 year anniversary on the 22nd. We both haven’t really been happy for the past 6 months or so. We’ve both been going through a lot of very hard things personally. We’ve been trying to make things work, but he broke up with me today. I’m so heartbroken. He said he wants to see me happy, maybe we could try again later on because right now we’re not right for each other, he’s not in love with me anymore, but he does love me & care about me, & he wants to be friends. I don’t know what to do, I’ve never had my heart broken from a break up. I already miss him. Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you
Hello there I understand exactly what you are feeling right now. My relationship of three years ended a few weeks ago. We both weren’t happy, but there was still love there. He told me he wanted to remain friends, but it’s hard to be friends with someone you love. You should focus on yourself right now. The best advice I’ve gotten with my current experience is letting go in order to start the healing process. Holding on will only hurt you more, and can give you false hope that you can get back together. I know its easier said than done (trust me I’m three weeks in and still fight the urge to text my ex) but taking this time to heal yourself will be better in the long run. Im here if you want to talk some more. I know that sometimes it helps having someone who has gone through what you’re going through by your side.
I agree with the above response. I’d also add, if you really do wish to have a chance of a future reconciliation with this person, it is best to not be friends with them. “Friendship” after a breakup will only add confusion as you two try to figure out the dimensions of this new relationship. Also, breakups generally happen due to a decrease in attraction. In order to have a chance at reconciliation in the future, it is best advice to give this breakup so much breathing room, that the other person begins to miss you and remember all the good things about you, and get the chance to work on themselves (and you on yourself). Having said all this, getting back together often isn’t a good idea. Both people need to want this and both people need to have grown and learned during the time apart in order for things to have a chance to work out. So I would ask you not to hold out Hope for this to happen. BUT, having said this, if you are well informed and handle things well post breakup, whether or not there’s a reconciliation may be up to you to decide - so the cards remain on your hands. I am a proponent of keeping one’s own power in a romantic relationship. Generally things go more in favor of the person who is able to hold onto themselves in a relationship (not talking about manipulation, more about not falling head over heels for anyone). As said before, this time is best used to do lots of self growth and self reflection. Often people decide at the end of this period that the breakup was the best thing that could’ve happened to them. You’ll get through this. Lots of love to you.
