Breakup Help Please

This is my first time on the web site and my first time seeking any kind of help really. I'm at a point in my life where I feel I have no close friends that I can confide in and feel alone. I recently broke up with a girlfriend of mine. We dated almost a year and she was the first and only person I have ever slept with. Because of this, I feel Im having a really hard time letting go. I messed up during the relationship in multiple ways and lost her. Ive begged her since to give me one last chance but she has too much self respect to allow an emotionally abusive person like me back into her life. I can understand that. She has been with a few men since weve broken up and I cant find it in me to move on or ever be with another person because my experiences with her were so special. We broke up because she felt undervalued by me. Not many of my friends knew about her, she felt she made more time for me than I did for her and also, I would ignore her every time she drank because I would get upset at the thought that she might hook up with someone while drunk. I agree that it is my own fault that we have broken up but Ive changed. Ive considered hurting myself over this. I drove 2 hours away to go beg for her back and she kept saying no and I thought of driving into a tree instead of going back home. I would like to know if you have any advice as to how I can win her back. Thank you so much in advance for any help you can provide or even just reading this message. Its really appreciated.