Becoming Me

My father and I had made a doctor's appointment despite me saying I’m fine. I had been coughing nonstop for the past month or so, and my father wanted to know why. So here we are, sitting in the doctor's clinic despite my protests. I was sitting in one of the chairs writing in my notebook, Father next to me, looking over his phone. I looked past his black haired head, to see the fish on the other side of the wall. We had been sitting here for the past hour it felt like.

“Nephlya Shirakumo?” a blond nurse wearing pink scrubs and white orthotic thick soled shoes, called as she walked into the waiting room.

“That’s us,” Father said, taking my nervously twitching hand, and basically dragging me to the nurse.

“If you will follow me, please,” the nurse walked us towards one of the child friendly rooms down a hallway with a floor that seemed endless. The walls were covered with pictures of people floating through the clouds and flying though the sky with wings, giving me an eerie feeling. We walked into an exam room which had a forest painted on the wall that later thinned out into a beach. Several animals were scattered among the art. Bears caught fish along the beach shore, dolphins jumped out of the ocean, and deer rested in the grass in front of the trees. A hidden picture list could be seen next to the door asking for how many acorns, fish, and shells were hidden in the painting. The nurse stood at the door and told us, “A doctor should be with you shortly.”

“Father, why are we here again? I don’t see the point in this,” I asked while smoothing down my dress to sit down.

“You have been coughing nonstop for the past two weeks. Something is wrong,” he replied.

“It could be the tight shirts you buy me.”

“I do not make you wear them. They are your size and what a lady should wear.”

“It’s not the eighteen hundreds anymore!” I threw my hands in the air. “I am fine either-” Suddenly my lungs started burning with the effort to breathe though the coughing.

“You were saying?” Father raised an eyebrow at me, while I glared at him, mentally, from my position hunched over coughing.

The doctor had to choose then to come in. “Nephlya?” he said before looking at me. “I believe I know why you came in.”

“I’m fine!” I insisted in between a few staggering coughs.

“Let's do a checkup to make sure that’s true,” The doctor smiled at me as he checked my breathing and heart rate. “Sometimes we might think we are fine when we actually do have something wrong.” He started on my reflexes. “ I remember that I thought the same thing then ended up having diabetes.” He had moved to my ears, and I worried a bit. My hearing has always been off and I always got worried when they would check it at doctor’s clinics, not that I had been to many. “Hearing is a bit rough but your eyesight is sharper than a normal person’s. Is that a family thing?”

“Yes sir,” I said nodding. Father nodded as well.

“Everything then seems to be fine. That is but your coughing; does your coughing ever have a time when it gets worse?” The doctor asked.

“Yea. When I wake up it's pretty bad. It gets better as the day goes on only to act up during Sports Hall. Couch sometimes has me sit out,” I said. My father’s face transformed into a face of shock only to change into a disappointed look, learning that I had not told him as much as i should have

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Two weeks.” “A month.” Father and I said in unison. Father looked at me with another face of shook while I merely wanted to be like liquid and melt into the floor. Not a good simile and my writer's heart is hurting me because of that. Sometimes I hate those weird thoughts I have. I snapped out of it and paid attention to the doctor who looked royally confused.

He looked from one side to the other unsure which was true. “So about three weeks. Alright. I would like to do an X-Ray. Is that alright with you Mr. Shirakumo?”

“Yes,” Father quickly responded.

“Nephlya, if you will,” the doctor gestured to the doorway. “Mr. Shirakumo, you will need to wait here.”

I stood and started following down the maze of corridors. The further we went the less pictures of the people floating on clouds and flying in the sky I saw. It was a relief being able to not see those pictures on every side of me. At one point I thought I saw a triangle-like shape on the white wall that glowed a fluorescent blue when I got near it. Before I could ask the doctor about it, my phone went off. I grabbed it to see who was calling me and surprise surprise, it was my friend, Tubbo.

I declined the call and quickly sent him a quick message: I’m at the doctors rn. Call later?

He quickly texted me back: U good?

I rolled my eyes. I knew that Tubbo was worried seeing as I have always been perfectly healthy. Not needing a doctor’s appointment or a hospital run once in my life. Not even for checkups. I quickly replied with a joke intertwined: Just because this is my first doctor appointment doesn't mean I’m going to di*. Father’s just paranoid.

After most likely laughing his head off, seeing as he was always finding something funny in one word, Tubbo texted me back: Don’t get why he’s so paranoid. I’m guessing this is about ur coughing habits. BTW Discod when your done? Toms and I want you to meet som peeps.

I shook my head at his spelling mistakes. Those hurt my writer’s heart as well. But then again, Tubbo was dyslexic so I couldn’t really blame him. The doctor cleared his throat and said, “I’m sorry to interrupt but we are here. I’ll need you to change into one of these paper dresses.” He held one of the white paper dresses that was speckled in rainbow dots out.

“Of course,” I quickly agreed, hoping that this conversation would be over soon. The doctor left the room and I was left with silence. I grabbed the crinkly, uncomfortable, dress and quickly removed my clothes, folding them nicely onto the chair. The dress was one of those that buttoned up at the side, but still not exposing any unnecessary skin. Before I called the doctor back in and he started to explain the procedure, I texted Tubbo saying that I had to go back to the appointment.

“Shall we start the procedure?” The doctor asked.

I nodded and layed on the table. He began to start the procedure, but soon I felt a tickle in the back of my throat. I jolted up right and started one of the worst coughing fits I’ve ever had. I couldn’t stop. My chest began to hurt from the force of the coughing. The doctor looked at me and noticed I couldn’t stop and that it was serious. He called out into the hallway asking for some “IV” and “oxygen mask.” A couple other nurses came in. I wavedthem away. I knew the cause for this terrible coughing fit. The only way I could fix it is if I was alone. The nurses backed up and the doctor came closer to me.

I was able to take in a breath, squint my eyes shut, and whisper to the doctor, “I need everyone out.”

“Everyone out! We need some space here!” he yelled out. Everyone quickly left the room, but the doctor stayed. My cough started to get worse. Luckily I had another excuse I could use if I needed to. I got to the point where my natural protective instinct restricted my hearing. I heard nothing the doctor was telling me and when I opened my eyes and looked at him he seemed confused about the fact that I wasn’t worried about my hearing. I closed my eyes shut again hoping that would help a bit.

I opened my eyes, after finding that closing my eyes only made it a bit worse when I couldn’t hear, and looked around as my coughing was lessened. I saw that the doctor who gave me my checkup was feeling my chest. Most likely to be sure I was breathing alright. I also saw that no one was in the room. I was able to get a breath in and tried asking the doctor to leave, failing to convince him to do so. I looked around and made sure all doors were shut, which they were, before I pushed him away to get some space to let them out.

The doctor seemed surprised at the shove. I was filled with relief and a welcoming, heavy weight on my back as I released my gray wings into the space behind me. My wings shook with unreleased energy before wrapping around me in a protective shell, still shaking. The feathers felt soft upon my bare skin, filling me with a calm feeling. I had missed having my wings out, and feeling their weight on my back. The coughing fit released me back into freedom quickly, but staggeringly. I was gasping for oxygen to fill my lungs, and as I was doing so I was able to look up into the worried face of the doctor who didn’t seem surprised.

“Aren't you surprised?” I stammered out worried that he would panic, call the authorities, or send me to an experimentation lab.

“John LaStrange, Animal,” the doctor simply said, showing me his hand which had transformed into a tiger claw. All my worries disappeared.

“Pleasure,” I said as I stretched my wings causing the doctor to turn around.

“Let me get you a paper dress that will actually let you have your wings out,” Dr. LaStrange chuckled. “The other one ripped. We’ll still continue with the procedure by the way.”

“But won’t the X-Ray show my wings?”

“Depends on what creature you are.”

“What about hybrids?”

“Depends on what creatures they have and which is a dominant trait.”

“What about avian, cloud nymph hybrids?”

“Depends if the avian is the dominant trait,” Dr. LaStrange threw a paper dress at me, causing me to let out a surprised trill. I quickly put it on.

“How do you know that?”

“The avian is the dominant trait for you.”

“Ok and how do we know that?”

“Do you have any siblings?”

I froze up. Did I want to mention him? “Yeah actually.”

“Well, are you the sibling that has wings? Or does your sibling also have wings?”

I looked down, “No. No, he didn’t. At least not that I knew of.”

The doctor paused before continuing, “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago so I should be over it.”

“You should never be over de@th.”

“What do you mean?”

“De@th, especially if it was a loved one, isn’t something that you need to be over. As a doctor I have had many patients di*. I have seen many families mourn the loss of their loved one. One child however seemed ok with it. I had asked her why. The child simply said that just because they were going to di* doesn’t mean they are gone forever. They would live on in her family’s memories.”

“Smart kid.”

“Indeed. Now let’s get this procedure over with already,” Dr. LaStrange laughed.

“All right. But still how do we know that the avian side of me is the dominant one?”

“Because you have wings. Did your brother have wings?”

“No. Reason I don’t know how to fly. I never told anyone about them but my brother, some trusted friends and you. No one who I have told them about has wings either,” I shrugged.

“Hmm. I have a friend who can fly, just not by being a creature. At least not that I know of. I can give you his number so you can learn?”

“Nah. I’ll be fine.”

“Ok. Can I have you lay back down? I’ll be taking two on with your wings and one without.”

“Ok. Why?”

“I just want to be sure that your wings aren't injured in any way. Sometimes if you hide them for an extended amount of time the wings can be broken, rolled, sprained and a whole lot of other injuries can occur. How long do you hide them for?”

“24/7 weeks on time.”

Dr. LaStrange turned to stare at me. “You do realize that isn’t very healthy for them?”

“Yep.”

“Would you rather hide your wings for an extended period of time or have them be cut off by your father?”

“Excuse me?”

“Let’s just say that the first time my father saw my wings he cut them off because he hates avians. They took forever to grow back. My mothers never did though.”

“He cut your mother’s wings off as well?”

“Yea. He hates the fact that she and I could fly and he can’t.”

“But isn’t he a cloud nymph?”

“That doesn't mean they can fly.”

“Huh,” Dr. LaStrange looked at me. “Got both of them. Your wings look a bit damaged. I think it would be best if you don’t sleep on your back and have your wings out during the night at least.”

“I won’t sleep with my wings out.”

“Then don’t sleep on your back for a couple of weeks.”