Teen Listener Discussion Notes - Let It Go Day

In celebration of Let It Go Day, I lead a discussion on Thursday 25th Juneon acceptance, forgiveness and letting go. Thank you so much to everyone who came, it was a fantastic evening❤

✰ Our objectives were: ✰

To discuss what acceptance means

To consider why it?s important not to hold onto grudges or past trauma

To think of personal experiences of how we?ve let go of traumatic things

To brainstorm ways we can help others to let go

✰ When someone says ?Let it go?, what do you think of? ✰

Aside from the obvious Frozen connoitations, letting go implies moving forward, forgiveness, freeing yourself and letting go of fear

??I think of it as releasing the negative, letting it float away!?? - InfiniteSusana

??Let It Go is freeing yourself?? ?WarmHeart22

✰ What does acceptance mean to you? ✰

Acceptance means a variety of things to us, including coming to terms with a situation, all the positives and negatives of it, and opening yourself up to more points of view. This might mean accepting yourself, a past traumatic event or the actions of others.

??Taking in the full truth, the good and bad and finding balance?? - Guiding Music

??Accepting your past, but not letting it define you?? - Pray4theheartless

??Be able to see that things are they way they are and being angry isn't the way to solve it!?? - Melallyouneedislove

??Acceptance is opening yourself and being liberal thus understanding a broad range of labels or objects?? ? WarmHeart22

✰ What steps do you believe need to be taken in order to achieve forgiveness or acceptance? ✰

Focussing on the positives can be helpful, so that you?re not limiting yourself to the negatives of a situation. Also, accepting that what?s happened has happened, and that there?s nothing to be done about it, can be very liberating.

??I would say understanding the situation and yourself. Acknowledging the positives and the negatives in equal measure, and choosing what you do with what you have?? - GuidingMusic

✰ Why do you think it?s important to move on from past trauma or conflict? What happens if we can?t move on? ✰

If we can?t move on, our past hold us back and our negative thought patterns remain, and our future is damaged as a result. More to the point, our past starts to define us and that impacts on our long term happiness

??If we don?t move on, we let our past define us''- Resisti

??Because these things can hold us back as we constantly think about them. That someway we could have changed the outcome or the circumstance. But the past is in the past, we can only change what we do in the future?? - InfiniteSusana

✰ Think about a time when you forgave someone or were forgiven. What were the benefits to you? ✰

We then discussed some personal experiences of circumstances we?d had to overcome, and decided that there were a lot of psychological benefits to no longer holding on to grudges or trauma - sensations of freedom and lightness were mentioned frequently.

✰ How can reconciliation be achieved? ✰

You need to be open to hearing other points of view and other sides of the story, be prepared to talk and to discuss, and to avoid overly emotive when telling others how you?ve been affected by their actions.

??What builds those bridges is communication and open mindedness - being open, and seeing both sides of the story, not just your own?? - ViataEVerde

✰What do you think makes it possible for people to reduce the impact of injustice or injury? ✰

We need to be willing to acknowledge the positives of any situation, and be able to realise what we?ve learnt from it. Also, we need to be able to ask for help, and to talk about what we?ve been through.

??Shine your own light on every situation?? - ViataEVerde

✰How can you support others when they can?t move past a traumatic event? ✰

Firstly, being able to listen without imposing your own views on them is incredibly important, so that they don?t feel that you?re ordering to move on. Being a supportive, constant part of their life can help to give them some of the stability they need. Show them that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that things will get better, but don?t push them to get there before they?re ready.

??Remain a positive influence for the person; even if they have to deal with trauma elsewhere, at least you can be a good part to their life?? ? RebeccaEmily

However, some people do not wish at all to be reminded of what?s happened, and that?s where distraction methods can be very important. For some, we can be that distraction by chatting to them, but other people prefer to run, make things etc., and it?s entirely up to the individual what is best for them.

??I mean it honestly depends on the person some people like talking about it some people don't. I mean you can even talk about unicorns for all I care, as long as they are happy and distracted?? ? InfiniteSusana

✰ What about assumptions they make about their trauma (e.g. I'll never get over this) - should we and how could we challenge those? ✰

Help them to see their situation from a different perspective, and that their situation does not define them. Reminding them of good times to come can be helpful too, without being patronising or overly optimistic.

??Being patient. Being kind. Listening to their pain and accepting what they feel with them, even when they can't accept it. I would dwell with them, because they know that they will live. I would not challenge them directly, but challenge them indirectly by asking questions, by digging in and letting them find their own path?? - GuidingMusic

✰ Quotes of the evening ✰

??Other people influence us, but we are always the catalyst for our own change?? - GuidingMusic

"If we let go of the pain in the memory, we can have the memory, but it doesn?t control us." - Alexandra Asseily

??What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller" ? Kelly Clarkson

✰ Participating: ✰

@InfiniteSusana @MelAllyouneedislove @GuidingMusic @izza @Resisti @caringissharing @ViataEVerde @RebeccaEmily @JustOptie @pray4theheartless @WarmHeart22 @Resisti @IreKat @shayshay1212 @ciaraaa @originalTurtle70 @sithsnuffles @Ace13 @MayaRainbow2

Also: @QuickJazz @Lynnie

​​If this was the first discussion that you attended, please take the time to nominate yourself for the Aristotle badge. Go to your'My Impact'page, then select 'Apply for special badges' (found below your list of badges).