In celebration of 🌌 Friendship Week 🌌 me and the lovely ​ @Mayarainbow2 hosted a discussion on 'How friendships are affected by mental illness and abusive relationships'

Our Objectives

✔ To give everyone participating a chance to learn more about friendships and how they can affect our lives in a negative nd positive way

✔ To show how friendships can change due to mental illness

✔ To give everyone a safe and welcoming environment to share their opinions

🔆 Questions 🔆

⭐ What is friendship? ⭐

According to websters, friendship is when you're friends with someone, or you like and enjoy being with someone. According to the lovely people on 7cups It's when you bond with someone.

Friendship is the ability and bond people have to be there for someone without judgement and to be able to move past things together -@Openarms5

Friendship is a deep connection between 2 or more people that is mutually beneficial for support and kindness. -@frostyRose25

friendship is mutual admiration and common interests shared amongst 2 or more people -@DefiantLilith

⭐ What makes a good friendship? ⭐

Friendship takes faith, trust (And pixie dust) love, empathy, and communication

A good friendship is where you stand by each other through thick and thin, no matter what -@Nicola2468

:0 ooooo open communication, trust, the ability to be able to listen and understand one another, and the willingness to be able to change old habits or to accept them from one another -@Openarms

⭐ Is friendship affected by mental illness? ⭐

We got an huge yes on this question, friendship is affected by mental illness, because mental illness overtakes every aspect of your life.

Of course. It really does depend on different people, which therefore have different friendships and ways they are affected. -@frostyRose25

I think the other person may find it hard to see the change in their friend, and then find it harder to communicate and understand -@Nicola2468

​

I think it is in some ways, but strong friendships withstand it -@MaddyIsHere

⭐ What mental health illness can affect a friendship? ⭐

Pretty much any mental health issues can affect a friendship, including depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, self harm, addiction, and panic attacks

I think friendship can be affected by mental illness if the friend is solely relying on the other friend for support. It can be a heavy weight to carry if you are the only supporter. -@Mark5

When someone has a mental health problem or is experiencing mental distress, it is important to try to keep friendships going, even though people with mental health problems often want to see their friends less than usual. Friendship can play a key role in helping someone live with or recover from a mental health problem and overcome the isolation that often comes with it. Its natural to worry when a friend is troubled and most of us dont want to give up on a friend in distress, however difficult it may be to support them. Many people who do manage to keep their friendship going feel that its stronger as a result. -@Renaenae

⭐​ How does depression affect friendships?​ ⭐

Depression affects friendships because people feel isolated and alone, and their negative thoughts make them pull away from others. Depression makes people feel worthless, so they don't think they deserve the friends they have, or they're afraid to tell their friends how they feel.

depression decimates friendships due to the lack of energy or motivation to do anything in a day...therefore creating a self imposed social isolation -@DefiantLilith

Depression is a really hard thing to handle in a friendship cause your most of the time kept in the dark and the feeling of not being enough is so frustrating but on the other hand if yo happen to help your friend with their depression the feelin is amazing -@Aj98​

Depression just becomes apart of you and I don't think there is a real boundary behind whether or not it affects a friendship. -@IdealistDreamer​

Depression can have a huge affect on friendships. The person suffering could feel a lack of motivation to try, to get out of bed, and to put an effort into the friendship. They might not believe that their friends actually care about them, or like they understand completely. It isn't just hard for the person with depression, though. It can be extremely difficult for their friends too. They have to watch this person they care about suffer, and they have to somehow accept that they most likely won't be able to help like they want to. They can't just put on a bandaid and make their friend better, they have to accept that depression is a big deal that takes time to recover from, and that the best thing they can do for their friend is continue to be there for them, no matter how hard it may be. -@RebeccaEmily

Support from friends is really important when suffering from depression. You don't want to be in it alone, it's good to have people who care surrounding you, so that you feel valid and important, and I think that helps you to overcome that negative mental state gradually. -@Asunder

⭐ How does anxiety affect friendships? ⭐

Anxiety affects friendships because you may not feel comfortable with people that you may have before. It makes you over analyze everything, and regret telling people things. It makes trusting people hard.

Anxiety could affect it quite a lot.The person might start feeling paranoid round their friends and unwanted. They might also find it harder to communicate with others and go out; putting distance in the friendship. Other people may not understand how they feel, so there's a sort of communication barrier built up. But I think it depends purely on the people and the strength of their friendship -@Nicola2468

Anxiety can play a huge role in friendships because a person suffering from anxiety could be living in fear, especially if they have social anxiety. For me, anxiety made me over-analyze every situation that could possibly happen, and it would stop me from going out to do things with friends, etc. It made me draw back into this shell where I'd be afraid to talk to people. My friends had to be really reassuring for our friendships to work. -@RebeccaEmily

​​⭐ How does self harm affect a friendship? ⭐

Self harm affects a friendship by forcing the self harmer to hide a big part of themselves. They don't tell their friends for fear of rejection, or causing them to worry, and no one wants their friends to worry, or be upset.

I think self harm can have a big effect. I think the stigma behind it means that some people are worried of making the other upset. I find that people sort of "tip toe" round the subject more and get cautious because they don't want the person affected to inflict any more pain onto themselves. I think they get scared of saying the wrong thing so they don't say anything at all -@Nicola2468

​

A friendship can be strongly affected be self-harm because no one wants to see their friend hurting, especially not to the point where they are injuring themselves. I think that self-harm can be really difficult (not impossible, just really difficult) to understand if you haven't gone through it yourself, or if you haven't been exposed to it before, so it can be hard for friends to know just what their hurting friend needs. -@RebeccaEmily

⭐ How does addiction affect a friendship? ⭐

Addiction can affect a friendship by completely taking over someone's life, it leaves them without time for their friends and family, or anything other than their addiction. Their friends may not understand why they are addicted, and they won't get the support they need.

Addiction is something that ends up ruling over someones life. That kind of dependence can linger in their brain all the time. For some people, their addiction becomes their life. That can be really hard for friends to watch, but it's hard to know how to help. I mean that an addiction can become controlling. It can be all that someone thinks about, and can affect all their decisions. If friends try to help, the addicted person could get upset and push away from their friends -@RebeccaEmily

​I think it can be affected because it can be hard to understand why people can't help the addiction. Logically, it makes sense to be able to have control over what you do and can't do. Therefore, it someone doesn't seem to have that control, it can make it a lot harder to understand and then deal with that. -@Nicola2468

​What's weird is that addiction doesn't even have to do with substances. More obscure ones like gambling or even obsessing over a person can prevent someone from living their own life. -@frostyRose25

⭐ Can a friendship be abusive? ⭐

The answer to this question is yes, a friendship can be abusive in a physical, mental, or verbal way. Any sort of relationship, paternal, or romantic, can be abusive, when one party uses another.

Definitely. It's bad to even call them a friendship, although both people might consider it such. These are what are called "toxic" friendships. -@frostyRose25

Yeah, especially if you've been friends for a while and then it turns abusive. It can be hard to notice it straight away (mentally) and you may not want to say anything because you may have doubts about it all. -@Nicola2468

⭐ How can you identify an abusive friendship?​ ⭐

There are a lot of ways to identify an abusive friendship, a few red flags are : Borrowing money, stealing, using the other person, talking them down or insulting them

When one "friend" is acting parasitic to the other. You might feel bad about yourself, think that your friend will change his/her ways, or even feel guilty about not being there for them if you think about ending the friendship. IN a sense, they are very much like abusive relationships. -@frostyRose25

​Red flags, like manipulation, borrowing money they dont return, using you as a taxi service, only calling/texting when they need something -@DefiantLilith

​It can be hard to identify an abusive friendship, but one way that I think is good is to step back and analyze the friendship as a whole. Consider things like, "Do I feel appreciated?" "Do I feel listened to?" "Are any favors repaid?" and "Am I supported by my friends as much as I support them?" -@RebeccaEmily

⭐ Can friendships be affected by an abusive relationship? ⭐

Absolutely, when someone is in an abusive relationship, it takes over their life, you may be forced to stop seeing your friends, or talking with them, or you may grows distant as the person getting abused gets depressed.

Yes, an abusive relationship affects your judgement and perspectives. It affects everyone you have a relationship with.Any abuse can damage your trust in people, your self confidence and cause a personality change -@Sarah

⭐ Can friendships be positively affected by an abusive relationship?​ ⭐

We all know that abusive relationships are a terrible thing, and there are no true positive outcomes from being in one, but afterwards, you may grow closer to a friend through sharing your experiences in an abusive relationship.

yeah, if both friends have been through that it can bring them closer, or just you know getting support from your friend while you're going through that -@ViataEVerde

I think it really depends on how strong the friendship was before, and how supportive the friend was during the abusive relationship. If the friend is there for the person going through the abuse, it can make them realize that they can trust that friend, and bring them closer. The person who went through the abuse can have a larger appreciation for their friend because of it, since their friend stuck by them through what may have been their roughest moments. -@RebeccaEmily

⭐ What is your general experience with friendship? ⭐

Everyone's answer was different for this question, and i think that's because we all experience things in a different way, but the point is that having friends that you care for, and trust, is pretty dang great.

my general experience with friendship was pretty bad up until a few years ago, it seems like i was looking for friends in the wrong places. Like they werent real friends, just people that stuck around so they can hurt you. Now i think i became better at seeing peoples true intentions and not trusting everyone so fast -@ViataEVerde

​love how friends can be found in the most strangest of places, it makes life just that little bit better -@Nicola2468

Thank you to everyone who participated! Including (But not limited to) : @Openarms5 @frostyRose25 @DefiantLilith @Aj98 @lovelyMacy @Nicola2468 @MaddyIsHere @Mark5 @Renaenae @IdealistDreamer @RebeccaEmily @Asunder @Sarah and @ViataEVerde

​Also super duper huge thank you to @Mayarainbow2 for helping me plan and host this discussion, i don't know what i would have done without you 💕💕💕💕

Big thank you hug for @Lyra and @MelAllyouneedislove for all of your wonderful help, we literally couldn't have done it without you

Finally, thanks to @Ace13 @Nina007 and @15Sydney for making me feel less silly when i was freaking out about this discussion, what would I do without you guys? (Probably crash and burn)