✿ Psychology of Happiness ✿ (Happiness Happens Day)

On the 8th August (for the Happiness Happens Day), a discussion about the Psychology of Happiness took place in the Listener Community Room, co-led by @heartsNcupcakes and @ItsLee.

➳ All the involved ones: @QuickJazz, @Redeemer, @DHawks, @lovelyTree31, @dx, @Johnny20, @rosalinas, @muneebb, @Anggi, @Tirnel, @SerenePiano10, @gentleParadise14, @AtYourService, @carefreePumpkin53, @MissZ, @LukaSilver86, @LandAtTheEnd88, @EncouragingDonkey, @Agrish, @RaymondT, @Resolve, @AutumnFox.

➳Summary:

This discussion was a very dynamic discussion with several fronts, where a continuous learning set was possible.

Ideas and opinions were shared, and - often – better reflected, I mean, it happened people changing their mind when faced with another realities or points of view (which youll be able to realise all along the contrasts) – what, itself, shows all apprenticeship.

It was a really pleasantly spearheaded and supported discussion, there was a great deal of compassion and support from the leaders!

➳ Icebreaker:

Welcome to the 7 Cups of Tea community discussion! For the next hour were going to be discussing the Psychology of Happiness and thinking about ways in which we might make our own lives happier. We want this to be a fun, engaging time for everyone as we explore the things that make us smile!

Id like to start by asking you all to think of a moment when you felt truly happy. It doesnt matter if it was years ago or just this morning! What is yours?

✯ "I felt happy last night when someone I really cared about got a Group Mod badge."

✯ "I got Jasper (a cute doggie)"

✯ "I got happy, excited more so, when my cousin bought us tickets to see Curious Incident of the Dog in Night-time on Broadway."

✯ "I was under 14 and took a top ranked player from age group under 18 to limits. I was a star for a day. That was my peak though"

✯ "A moment I felt truly happy was in a moment where I knew that whatever I go through in life, I will have a sound possibility of getting through it."

✯ "I'm expecting to be truly happy in few days, when my whole family will finally escape the war in Syria and be safe, after 4 years of waiting"

✯ Was happy when the doctor said I am free of cancer last week.... After all the fuss I am finally here."

What do you notice about everyones answers? Can you identify any themes or similarities between them? Does this teach us anything about where happiness can be found?

✯ "Happiness is subjective."

✯ "Little things, big things - anywhere"

✯ "Spending time with people and animals."

✯ "Being around loved ones."

✯ "I think happiness can be found everywhere, as long as we look for it."

✯ "Happiness in achievements, experiences, observances, thoughts..."

✯ "It's different for everyone, and different even for the same people in different situations"

✯ "Happiness is really a choice... There are so many things to be happy about... Sometimes we just dont see the larger picture."

✯ "One thing I like about happiness is that we enjoy anticipating it and remembering it, not only the moment itself, actually waiting for a happy day can be more enjoyable than living this day itself"

✯ "There's different kinds of happiness! Relaxing isn't the same thing as hanging out with friends, which is different than an accomplishment. Different types of happiness creates different scenarios!

② Imagine you meet an alien. Fortunately, the alien has good command of the English language, but no experience with human emotions. How would you describe the feeling happiness to this alien?

✯ "A mild elation…

Or not-so-mild elation."

✯ "Uhm, the feeling the alien would get when he finds his mother ship back? Assuming he's lost."

✯ "The feeling that gives you inner peace and positivity."

✯ "I don't know. It would be hard to explain human emotions to a non-human."

✯ "You could cause them harm and then tell them it's the opposite of that."

✯ "I think happiness is identified by the absence of its opposite, like: happiness is not being worried, afraid, sad, etc.. I hope alien knows what these emotions mean

✯ "I would probably just describe it as a positive energy."

✯ "Point is, I would have to describe happiness in a broad sense since everyone has their own version of happiness and I would have to describe it in words that are not so emotional and more scientific or logical I guess.

✯ "Happiness it too perceptive to be explained... it also depends a lot on circumstances."

③ What makes one happy may not make another happy. But is there universal happiness-inducing things?

✯ "It's the feeling of everything being right in the world, at least for a moment."

✯ "Why do we find happiness in retrospect and not in the present.... Sometimes we just hang on to those old happiness events.... While in the present we think about the worst possible scenarios."

✯ "An action takes makes you happy at one occasion might makes you unhappy at another."

✯ "Sense of belonging, love, and sex" - after that, most of the participants agreed, but quickly changed their mind, when faced with other realities, such as people who suffer/have certain conditions that preclude them to desire or enjoy sex as a universal happiness.

④ So we have a grasp on happiness, at least we all know what we feel when we're happy. But what about the opposite? What are the roadblocks to happiness? Why do so many people struggle to find it?

✯ "Love, power, money."

✯ "Id say being ungrateful in a sense and taking things for granted."

✯ "Mental illness. Depression, emotional flattening."

✯ "Dissatisfaction in life."

✯ "Our struggles can definitely cloud the beauty we seek."

✯ "I feel like gratitude is important when dealing with depression, anxiety, etc."

✯ "Some people don't realize that to some degree, happiness can be a choice. That is a barrier."

✯ "The human mind! Evolution has made us more sensitive to negative emotions because back when we were living in caves, emotions like fear are life-and-death. We're hard-wired to focus on negative emotions if we're not careful!"

✯ "Not accepting yourself for what you are."

✯ "Trying to live the way others want you to, thus not being happy with making choices based on others needs as opposed to their own."

✯ "Insecurity."

✯ "For some people, when happy things happen, they are afraid and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so they miss the moment or don't get to appreciate it fully"

✯ "Dont set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

✯ "There should essentially come a time in life when you should be able to ignore what others say about you/expect from you... Once you are liberated from the pressure of their opinions, you are very much a step further towards happiness"

✯ "The way we're raised and having certain thoughts planted in our heads from the days we can understand emotion."

✿ Extra question (by Luka): Living together as groups of human beings can bring a lot of happiness, like being with friends, or even competing with other people and winning.. Question is: if a human being lived totally alone on this planet, would it be possible for them to feel happy?

✯ Yes, no, why not?, depends, possible.

⑤ As social creatures, are we able to be happy without being social?

✯ "There have been some that say they feel happier without contacts with humans, for varied reasons."

✯ "It's not that they'd be sad, but would happiness/sadness emotion even exist?"

✯ "Possible? Yes. Maybe not at all times or in every moment, but aka say certainly possible. Lots of happy things are independent of others"

✯ "NO, never, Loneliness makes you depressed, it's human nature to share things with others, HUMANS ARE SOCIAL"

✯ "I believe happiness is subjective so yes, I think a human being will find a way to feel happy."

✯ "A woman was raised by stray dogs, for example. So she was a feral child. She was found and lives 'as a human', but she says she was happier with her dog family. So, actually, I thought it was a said story, even though it wasn't supposed to be."

✯ "Humans do need to be heard and understood! That's exactly why 7 Cups is so useful/important. Think about super geniuses. They're actually more depressed and lonely because they do not feel understood."

✯ "I believe its the world thats making us believe that we should be social to be happy. But nah. The world is too narrow minded and negative, always promoting t wrong things. Happiness can be attained if YOU are willing to be happy. I myself have seen many here who are so social but yet unhappy. You are your own worst enemy and only you are your own best friend. Its how you take it that counts in the end of the day"

Conclusion: We can all maybe agree that it depends on the circumstances, and time and how we're feeling.

✿ Extra question (by QuickJazz): Well, I'd have many questions regarding Luka's question though. If this person was the only person on earth, would they already speak a language? Are they older? Did they know of life with others? Or did they grow up alone somehow and may not have learnt how to vocally communicate as many of us do?

All the participants realised that there's a lot of circumstances that no one had thought about.

⑥ What sort of things can we do ourselves to lift our mood and encourage happiness in our own lives? What works for you?

✯ "Being in a peaceful and quiet environment."

✯ "Being my own best friend."

✯ "What can lift your mood is very personal to you. For me, it is getting in touch with my closest friends, or listening to one of my favourite bits of music."

✯ "Acceptance that I am not perfect."

✯ "Remembering what I've achieved, what my goals are and talking to my dear ones so I know that I make a difference."

✯ "Actually, making someone happy makes me happier. You know, because happiness can be contagious."

✯ "Take a Break. From everything. Go to a silent place. Let yourself know what you want. Let yourself know what you don't want. Come back to life. Focus on your goals again."

✯ "I don't believe in permanent happiness but there are a few things that makes me happy or at least cheer me up every day which is talking to you guys. You just need to find that something that brings you joy!"

Conclusion: music, any kind of self care (meditate, exercise, etc), literature, having fun and spending time with others, helping others, etc.

Happiness is so individually subjective, I think that's becoming very clear from all of our answers. The emotion itself may be universal, but our perceptions on going about it are diverse.

⑦ Do you feel its possible to be happy all the time?

No, no, yes, no, definitely not, no, no, absolutely not, no, impossible.

☯ "I think life has its equilibrium" ☯

✯ "Like you wouldn't be happy if your pet died."

✯ "No it isn't, we wouldn't even realise "happy" was different from the other emotions if we were always happy, it's good to be sad/angry so we can appreciate the good at a later time!"

✯ "We couldnt know happiness if we didnt experience other feelings."

✯ "I believe in happy moments, and content. But not happiness always, we all go through trauma, grief, loss etc."

✯ "Maybe not impossible, but definitely, undesirable."

✯ "Happiness as an emotion? No. Happiness as a mood? Yes. You can be content and positive all the time. You can't be ecstatic off the walls happy all the time.

✯ "However, while it is completely fine and healthy to allow other negative emotions to show, like anger and sadness, it's very important to maintain control, there are so many people "including me sometimes" who are tempted to dwell in negative states like sadness and loneliness, it gives a false feeling of happiness and it's dangerous."

⑧ Psychology talks often about happiness on a chemical level. Theres serotonin - the happiness neurotransmitter , dopamine - the rewarding neurotransmitter, oxytocin - the bonding neurotransmitter and endorphins - hormones responsible for the relief of pain and stress (These are simplified definitions). Can you think of some ways in which we can boost our happiness on a chemical level?

Chocolate, exercise, meditation, spending time with loved ones, cuddling, yoga, dancing, taking care of ourselves, reading.

✯ "Smiling and laughter- you can trick your brain by holding a pencil lengths across your teeth- it triggers the smile muscles, and the brain responds"

Note (by heartsNcupcakes) "Almost everything in excess can go wrong"

✯ "People dont think long term… Everybody goes f momentary happiness. Thats why they become miserable in the future."

⑧ What does it feel like to watch someone else be really happy? When you see someone experience happiness what does that feel like?

Most of the participants said they'd be happy for them, especially if it was someone close to them.

✯ "I enjoy seeing people happy all the time. Happiness in others brings out the happiness in me. However some people would have to agree, myself included, that sometimes when we're down it can be a little bothersome to see someone happy."

✯ "Jealous, self-pitying on yourself, feeling that you are damn alone in the world...This was me a year back. Now I dont mind whether they are happy or sad. I believe they deserve what they got whether its good or bad. People say they care, but they dont.

Thats the ultimate truth. Of course some people do care but most dont. I guess those "some" are common here at 7cups"

Conclusion: "It seems like the agreement here is that it's dependent on the situation but often we can be made happy by other peoples happiness."

⑨ Why do you think people spend so much time thinking about happiness?

✯ "Because deep down its something we all struggle with in some way and want to achieve and pursue."

✯ "Because it good feeling when we are there, media, social expectation."

✯ "Because even though they say anger is a universal emotion, it's happiness that actually connects us all. A smile is the language the world can speak."

✯ "Happiness reduces the feelings of pain and upset. Kind of like a gas tank or the whole debit/credit theory."

✯ "Everyone wants their happy ending."

✯ "We are told that happiness is the way."

✯ "Because our society puts too much emphasis on the importance of being happy. I've heard that in some other countries depression etc., is less of an issue simply because people don't expect to be happy all the time."

✯ "Because our current society tells us what we need to achieve in life, and one thing is a state of constant happiness. Instead of experiencing the full scope of what being human is."

✯ Society defines happiness for us.

✿✿ Feel free to give your opinion on the subject, and I hope you appreciated it!! ✿✿