Visiting the Cage
Dark lighting rips the air and bathes the land like a negative.
Trudging through the hurricane that whips nerves raw and sensitive.
Flensing wind scours this frozen waste,
Grit tearing the last tear from the eye.
Before ragged ruin abased,
Hoarfrost claims its bones, so brittle dry.
In blackness, sensing his approach
It writhes against the biting chains.
Venomous ichor in its veins,
Devoid of guilt or self-reproach.
Descend the labyrinthine depths to a bare chthonic floor.
Step inside the vaulted cell, bereft of bars and with no door.
Swamped in shadows his light gutters,
Resist the urge to step back aghast.
Looming leer, it madly mutters.
"I came to check that your bonds hold fast"
"Liar!" snaps a sharp snarling growl.
"Your scent reeks of what's kept inside.
Behind your pretty manners hide."
Its laugh a manic bestial howl.
Those fever yellow mismatched eyes that matt the fur with bile tears,
That open-throated drooling maw, a glutton's gut stuffed with fears.
Staring down that wretched creature,
Its hulking form more shadow than flesh.
"Do not presume you're the teacher
My will restores my resolve afresh"
"Liar!" It whispers sickly sweet,
Its frenzied foetid breath, slick smog,
Its sweat a greasy caustic fog.
"Deny envy, embrace deceit"
Manacled and bound in place, its slather coated words goaded.
Lascivious sybarite, stained and tainted and corroded.
Turning to leave there in disgust
Secure that it is still locked away
Escape its cloying poison musth,
And yet still pauses to hear it say;
"Liar, you are devoid of guile,
For I can see what's in your heart.
Each hidden sin you tear apart
Concealed behind that painted smile."
Knuckles white and breathing shallow, conscience screaming to ignore.
But pride is hurt and self doubt grows infected by anger's spore.
His hands grip tightly round its throat
Loathing every spiteful sound it spoke.
Evil tormentor shall be smote.
He squeezes hard then starts to choke.
"Must we always play this sad game?
You leave me bound here forgotten
Till you require something rotten.
In mirrors we are both the same."
Retreating gasping, fighting free, heading back towards the light.
Behind, the wailing laughter screams, sapping will and draining might
Demanding freedom from that hole.
Shouting secrets in a toxic song.
Its sick temptation burns the soul.
Those chains still hold it but for how long?
@BastionKnight
(How embarrassingly annoying, to have proof read it several times and STILL make a typo on the very first line! Dark lightning, not lighting. Grrrrrrrrr)
@BastionKnight Bastian Knight has done it again – the valiant warrior/ wordsmith rises to battle the darkness once more! This poem feels deeply allegorical, evoking the Beast that knights in myth face, yet also serving as a powerful manifestation of the Jungian shadow – the evil, pain, and hidden parts of ourselves we desperately try to lock away. It’s impossible not to notice a recurring theme in your work: the confinement of shadows, the self-imposed isolation, and the shielded warrior in isolation.
This poem (like all your other works) is absolutely stunning – it pulls you in from the very first line! You’ve captured that inner turmoil, the clash of pride, guilt, and temptation, with such brilliance. The imagery is so vivid, I could practically feel the cold winds and the weight of those chains. The line "Liar, you are devoid of guile, / For I can see what's in your heart" is especially powerful – it feels as though the tormentor is exposing every hidden truth we try to bury. And that final line, "the chains still hold it but for how long?" is haunting, leaving you wondering whether the narrator will ever break free or remain trapped in this endless cycle. Honestly, it’s a masterclass in capturing that internal struggle, lingering long after the final word. Brilliant work! *Standing ovation * *Throws flowers on the stage* * Claps vigorously*
@azurePond
You again amaze me with your spookily accurate analysis, which (I am embarrassed to admit) makes me squirm a little. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the lovely things you said about the things I wrote. I am just relieved it came across as I had intended, and so am very grateful for your thoughtful comments and encouraging praise.
*I humbly kowtow before you*
@BastionKnight that was very sad, beautifully written but sad 😢 I'm not exactly sure of the meaning behind the poem, but for me there is definitely a small line between between evil and good, right and wrong, so that's what this poem described for me ❤❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ you are a amazing poet ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Maybe meaning is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things? It is feelings which are often more important. I am touched that you found the poem sad, and the thematic elements you took from it. Your praise means a lot to me, and I appreciate very much the tiny giant hug.
*Smiles*
@BastionKnight
@BastionKnight
The imagery alone is absolutely outstanding but you have to be a walking thesaurus. I've also got a soft spot for rhyming poetry because I feel as though it amps the difficulty up a bit.
Honestly incredible. Wow.
@Dingleboop
I am very grateful that you took the time to read my poem and leave such a considerate message. Each poem I write, I take a long time over, so hearing such praising feedback means a great deal to me. It allows me the confidence to share what would otherwise be locked away and hidden forever. So I thank you.
@BastionKnight
Wow. 🥹
This really hit me hard in the best way. The way you’ve crafted this intense internal battle -between pride, guilt, self-doubt, and that voice of inner torment is absolutely gripping. The imagery you’ve used, like “flensing wind” and “venomous ichor,” instantly takes me back to a time when I had my own struggle with those dark, self-doubting thoughts. I remember a particular moment during a long, sleepless night, feeling the weight of my own thoughts like that storm you describe.
Gosh, that line, "In mirrors we are both the same"…just wow.
I had this moment once, staring at my reflection, and realizing I’d been beating myself up over things I couldn’t change, and it hit me hard: I was the “monster” I was fighting against.
I think we all have our “inner monsters,” whether it’s through failure, self-worth, or guilt. Knight, your poem captures that fight so powerfully, and in a way that feels like hope might still be possible. Kinda like Emily Dickinson’s ‘hope is the thing with feather’.
I can’t tell you enough how much this resonated with me. Thank you for writing this. 😊
@ZenArashi
I am so utterly delighted to hear the poem connected with you in such a powerful way, and I am honoured that you drew parallels between the words I wrote and your own experiences. It is the most gratifying sensation to know that a poem can instil such feelings and reminiscence.
I sincerely hope you own fight against the beast caged away has been more fruitful than the one in the poem, and thank you from the bottom of my hear for such a lovely message. I am so glad the poem resonated with you to such a strong degree.
*Smiles*
@BastionKnight I am new to the world of Poetry, This being one of the first inspirational examples I can learn from, is an honor to someday reach this height. Thank you!
@FuzzySimba
I am humbled by your words, and would like to warmly welcome you to the world of poems. It is highly flattering to be told that my creations have in any way inspired your or creative impulse. I look forward to seeing your own pieces on the forum.
*Smiles*
