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Mundane Blues

ListeningRoses56 16 hours ago

Perhaps it won't rain bullets 

But shiny silver pins

And each one would fall 

Like ice on our skins.


Just a little electric pain

When a spark shimmers blue.

Just a pinch across the grain

Of our cold finger tips. 


Perhaps it would not be

Like being set alight. 

Perhaps it would just be

A dim cloudy night.

1
azurePond 3 hours ago

@ListeningRoses56 I really like how this poem captures that quiet, almost resigned feeling of a grey, dull day. The idea of rain not being bullets but "shiny silver pins" is a nice twist – it’s like the world’s not quite harsh, but still gives you a little sting. It captures that feeling of discomfort, like the world’s just a bit too sharp, but not in an obvious way – more like a dull, constant drizzle that wears you down. The "electric pain" and cold fingertips hit just right, like those little moments of unease that sneak up on you in the middle of a grey, miserable day. It’s got a quiet beauty to it, almost like a subtle reflection on the everyday struggle with the weather – and life in general. Lovely work!