Hurts (first time writing in a while)

TW- Abusive relationship

im not sure I like the thought of soulmates. You can ´ t know someone unless you are that someone.

He tears me apart each time he touches me. Violations against my own will. Each day it gets worse the thought of leaving him never crossed my mind for he will catch me upon the door.

I´ ve mixed up a metaphor from reality, what he meant was not a joke. I will donate all of me for the one gentle touch that came before I met you.

He stole my soul once and he ´ ll end up stealing my will. *** he should be granted. For I go trough him every day.

It was indeed not true love a joke was what I made of me, he is not someone who is meant to love. I fell for the wrong person for now he pushes me down to fall myself.

I am no longer a whole. He tears me apart each day slowly. I'll end up losing myself in his touch. In my ***. 

If my despair is a pool a lifeboat he is. If I am needed he is wanted. RUN.

Love should not mean fear or despair it should mean just what it is love.

(im not sure how to feel abt this)