Relationship issue
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month, and we're in a long-distance relationship. Initially, everything was great, but suddenly he's become really busy. I understand that school stresses him out, but now he doesn't make an effort to communicate or reassure me. Whenever I express my concerns, he turns it around and makes me feel like I'm the problem. I'm feeling stressed and unsure about our relationship because he doesn't offer any emotional support or reassurance. Im tired
@charmingPineapple1507
in person or LD relationships often have ebbs and flows but in long distance IMO it is hard to be reassuring and there when they are super busy. or otherwise occupied.
It is not a reflection on the relationship but sometimes I skip a day to respond to mine someone because I would rather answer authentically when i am not tired or stressed....... then trying to think up a OK response when I do not feel up to it. I have had the same day or two break in return... at first I felt worried or insecure but I know the feelings we share are strong and do not need to talk about it every day.
@charmingPineapple1507
Hey, makes sense that you'd feel worried (and maybe a bit abandoned) when your boyfriend seems to be disengaging.
Good point by @toughTiger6481 that if he's drowning in schoolwork/stress, he might not be in a state of mind where he's able to be as reassuring as he'd like.
I wonder if it's possible for there to be some kind of middle ground. Like for example (just making this up), if you usually chat every day, maybe for now you could aim for something smaller like a couple times per week where you can connect and have some quality time together? That way he gets some breathing room but you still get some of the connection with him that you're missing.
Thank you ð¥ºâ¤ï¸