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I wish I wasn't so dependent on other people's opinions

KittyKeats April 23rd, 2023

Been in therapy for a while and there's been a hiccup, with that and other issues going in my life I've felt so down and noticing I absolutely crave that validation, to have someone tell me what I do makes sense at all time

It's not even been that big of a deal throughout life since I've always had people support me, but now that that is absent I'm suffering so much. I see the room for growth given that for the first time in my life I really do feel I am making the decisions instead of relying on others, but it is hard. I doubt myself, all the time, and it sucks away my energy.

There's some stuff probably to be said about poor parenting figures blabla (my dad was always really critical and didn't seem too fond of me growing up, mom similar though a bit more lenient) but in the end it is what it is and I'm living my life. It just sucks feeling so hurt and wounded all the time and I wish I was a bit stronger (and hoping I will be some day).

2
hopefulPond6108 April 24th, 2023

@KittyKeats It is a shock when we lose some kind of important support. I’ve experienced this over and over again. But at some point you realize you’re treading water without that life preserver and you are not sinking. What is left? Notice that while it’s uncomfortable, you’re learning how to manage. You’ll regain some of that energy. Part of that newfound energy is developing some confidence in yourself for managing it alone. That said, having support from others is really important. So missing that support is totally natural. You may have to be creative to find alternative sources or connect with another therapist perhaps. Don’t beat up on yourself if you’re feeling vulnerable, instead recognize you have a valid reason to feel vulnerable, but have some faith in yourself that you’ll do what you need to figure this out.

toughTiger6481 April 25th, 2023

@KittyKeats

i think most people want someone to validate their decisions the question i ask myself is why.....

do i need the support or ......do i secretly want to put the blame elsewhere IF an item does not go well?

we are often surrounded by too many who are willing to be either "YES men"...... that agree with all or Critics who feel the need to insert their decision on others simply because the chance of failure is low cause they can always say you did not need to listen........ and it often does not come back on them .....

Life is ongoing time waits for no one and decisions or opportunities missed may not come around again embrace the chaos and learn to live with your choices good or bad that is the risk and reward of life.