Advice please help
So I've struggled for years in my relationship of 12 years and 4 children. I'm at the point I'm questioning what I should do. I love my partner so much, we've never cheated or broken up properly. We've always delt with problems quite quickly. However, over the last half of the relationship he's been grumpy, lazy and self centred. I can deal with a lot and we would speak about things. The last 2 years have gotten worse. He is always moody, does nothing without moaning. Threatens we should split up, talks to me like I'm a thing. complains I'm not loving enough when he shows zero signs of caring. I don't get flowers, I don't get apologise, no praise, no encouragements, no nice comments about me.
Anyway, I'm very confussed and stuck. I don't want to be alone and destroy the family for my children but I dont no how much more I can take. He's short, always fed up with me, critasis me, belittles me you name it. Over the last 5 hours iv made a list of how he talks to me for you to read. This is in 5 hours and it's been going on for over a week again at this rate. some weeks it's now and then. This week it's all the time.
Poor you and your feelings
it's always OK for you
you choose to have kids
maybe this is the end then
you can f***ing deal with everything
you just like trapping people
there nothing wrong with me it's you and your little brain
I'm just point out the truth, you don't like the truth then and want me to pretend instead.
common sense
we're you born stupid or something
your thick you f***ing idiot
the house is a s**thole cos you choose to do a stupid carper
it's OK in your little world
your a c***
why would you put a magnet on a new fridge you *** idiot. now it's scratched. it's *** common sense your a joke.
He says its just how he is and nothing is ment by it, he says I'm over sensitive and he hates it when I cry, thinks I'm putting on a show says I'm playing a mind game by trying to make him feel bad when I cry. Says I'm not normal.
what's happening :(
@HoldingOnForThem
is he depressed ? what stress is he under? have you considered counseling?
My spouse became like you described mean / lazy and self centered often said "lets break up" and we have been together much longer then you. He never does nice things except for himself and even when i do things for him he takes it like " it is about time" ....... I realized .....he is/ was in a depression from health issues and saw no future or happy anywhere he is starting to climb out of it and it lasted 2 plus years.... .... him wanting me to be fed up and leave...... in his messed up mind was being nice to not live with his dark mood etc.....
if you can reach him and have active listening alone with out kids or such if you find he is depressed or other things then you can help ... at least that worked for my situation
