Waiting for a Phone Call

I've been waiting for a phone call for the past three days now, or longer. I don't remember anymore. I've called. I've sent texts. I've even left a voice message. However, all for naught, as it appears that he person in question genuinely has no interest in returning any of my messages.

Th worst part about all this is that I was making such a big effort not to contact him in any way. I was trying so hard to sever this relationship, or at least let it waste away to nothing. Then, out of nowhere, I got some devastating news, and... I didn't know who else to call. So I tried calling him. For three days, I've been trying to get a hold of him.

It's funny, sometimes, how when you really need someone, that that's the time said person decides he or she doesn't care anymore.

It's been a struggle, looking at that phone, carrying it around with me, hoping that I'll get a call. I've thrown my phone, I've yelled, I've cried, and I've been pushed to sharp edges, all because I'm waiting.

I'm getting to the point of apathy now. I'm starting to realise that maybe this is his little way of showing me that he doesn't care, he never wants to hear from me again, and he's completely forgotten about me. So be it. Fine, I was trying to emotionally distance myself from him anyway. I don't care about him anymore, either. He's just another ghost anyway.

I'm not waiting for that damn phone call anymore. But I'll be damned if it isn't difficult to actually shed myself of all these emotions and attachments to all these people. I've been feeling more and more numb as the days progress, partly due to drugs, partly due to my own mind not being able to handle anything anymore. It's been a rough few days...

I'm still waiting for that phone call.