Sometimes "

I sometimes I want to die, and then I sometimes I to live, I sometimes feel happy and then I get so depress so fast, its depressing... Sometimes I sew my self all alone in a world of rush..and no notice is taken of me....sometimes I feel so unloved as if nobody loves me... But I'm the reason why this is so...because I push people away and then I'm sad about it..
.how sick is that? How can I find the joy I so log for? Sometimes I find myself among the train tracks ,walking all alone in my burn thin skin and all I can hear is the evil words spoken over me.... How I wish the train could hit me...how I wish an angel could save me...I wish I knew what I wanted or felt..but sometimes I feel nothing...and sometimes...I feel everything....its like a horse running round and round a stupid race course and feeling only pace but as soon as it leaves the race course it feels peace...oh how I wish I knew what I was talking about but sometimes.....I have no idea....