My BPD and choices.
Part of my BPD I lack of holding friendships. I am very quick to getting people to like me and people are impress by me but to keep them around seems mission impossible.
I recently had to face a friendship with someone and she and I became very close but it was not healthy at all, there were things she expected from me and I could not do that. Because I could not give her what she wants she stop speaking with me. I decided that I won't allow this to upset me. I have always lost friends and so I'm use to it. But the choices I make effect not only me but others around me. Before when a friendship would end I'll shut everyone out but this time I chose not to do this.
I don't have friends but there are people who care about me. I choose to be happy even when I feel broken. I choose to make jokes even when I feel sad. Instead of Laying in bed I'll get up and run or I'll get to my laptop and listen to some music
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The choices I make will have an effect on my life. Some choices I make will make me happy and some will make me sad and some will make me angry but the best choice I can ever make is taking care of me and my needs in that way I can manger my BPD and build healthy friendships.
@joyfulhorse friendships are always a matter of give and take and mutual support but as you have discovered not everyone understands this! I hear that you find ongoing friendships an issue but I commend your awareness of how this issue affects you and your decision to focus on your choices; they are the ones you can control! It sounds like your ex-friends expectations weren't very reasonable but that they weren't willing to work through that? We can't always do what our friends want or agree with them all the time and friends who expect this might not be the best friends!
I hear how much you are learning from your exeriences and it's great that you are taking positive steps to help life with BPD a little easier - that's great! If you want to chat a little more feel free to message me :-)