Less-Symptoms of BPD (Part 3) 💖🌷

Hello, everyone! Now that we've discussed the types of BPD, it's time to have an overview of the uncommon symptoms that are experienced by some people with the disorder. This is a fascinating topic that I am excited to introduce, especially that it is based on research and factual evidence. 🤩

These symptoms include:
↬ Pervasive Shame: As defined by John Bradshaw, "Toxic shame is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that I am flawed and defective as a human being. It is a state of being, a core identity. Toxic shame gives you a sense of worthlessness, the feeling of being isolated, empty, and alone." This deep, internalized shame can profoundly impact a person's sense of self-worth and ability to maintain healthy relationships.

↬ Undefined Boundaries: Someone with BPD might say, "I was brought up thinking that the perfect intimate relationship had no boundaries. Boundaries only meant a rift between people. Boundaries meant I had to be alone, separate, and have an identity. I didn't feel good enough to have a separate identity. I needed either total enmeshment or total isolation." This black-and-white thinking around relationships can make it very difficult for those with the disorder to establish appropriate emotional and physical boundaries. 

↬ Control Issues: People with this condition may need to feel in control of other people because they feel out of control with themselves. They may try to make their own world more predictable and manageable. This desire for control often stems from deep-seated fears of abandonment and a lack of inner stability. 

↬ Lack of Object Constancy: This is a significant symptom that is often discussed but did not make it into the DSM. When we feel lonely, we can soothe ourselves by remembering the love that others have for us. However, individuals with BPD find it difficult to evoke an image of a loved one when they feel upset or anxious. If that person is not physically present, they just don't exist on an emotional level. This is why the person with BPD may call their loved ones frequently just to make sure they still care about them. The inability to maintain an internalized sense of connection with others can be incredibly distressing. 

↬ Interpersonal Sensitivity: It has been observed that borderline individuals are adept at reading other people and uncovering their triggers and vulnerabilities. This may be because they learned to carefully read the cues of people around them, or because they rely on others for their emotional stability. Some findings suggest BPD traits that might enhance the ability to detect mental states and subtle facial expressions of others, but that's not always true. Other studies have shown that people with BPD have higher error rates for recognition of emotionally expressive faces compared to healthy control. However, they display higher accuracy in detecting fearful faces. It all depends on the specific context and individual differences among those with the disorder. 

↬ Situational Competence: Some people with BPD appear non-disordered at work and perform very well, even being high achievers, while others find it arduous to hold a job. Marsha Linehan, an American psychologist and author, calls this "situational competence." 

↬ Narcissistic Demands: This is quite different from being a narcissist, which is a different case. This refers to the fact that some people frequently bring the focus of attention back to themselves. They may react to things based solely on how it affects them. However, drawing the attention to themselves does NOT mean that people with BPD lack empathy. It is likely correlated with overwhelming emotions that can make it difficult to focus on the emotional well-beings of others. For example, a child in a grocery store craving a cookie may be very compassionate and make friends with all the lonely children at school. But in the moment of wanting the cookie, they are not going to care about their father's feelings. They might throw a tantrum and saying hurtful words in order to get the cookie. This does not indicate that people with BPD are dramatic or uncaring by nature. Rather, it suggests that in the grip of strong emotions, their focus can narrow and their ability to consider others' perspectives becomes compromised. 

References: 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8354944/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/dec06/bpd
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/matter-personality/202206/borderline-personality-are-they-bad-reading-others

I truly hope this post has helped to emphasize on the more complex and uncommon aspects of borderline personality disorder. A lot of these characteristics aren't yet included in the official diagnostic criteria. There remains a lot of debate and nuance around how these behaviors truly manifest in people with BPD. However, I believe that it's important that we keep educating ourselves and staying up-to-date on the revolving research and perspectives. Although these traits are unofficial, they can contribute to additional stigma and misunderstanding that those with BPD already face. Our role should be to approach this with empathy, spread awareness, and try to see the heartfelt humanity and inherent beauty behind the immense turmoil that borderline individuals experience. 

So, what do you think about this post? I'd be really curious to hear your perspectives! 

Thank you for your time, and take care! 💛🌻