Interpersonal Effectiveness seems dumb?
I'm newly diagnosed with BPD as of a few months ago, and I started a DBT treatment then. I just can't get into the interpersonal effectiveness part. It seems so silly and obvious. Do any of you guys get use from it, and do you feel like you're learning something when you work on this section?
I have a very eager-to-please way about myself, especially when seeking reassurance that people won't leave me. If someone makes me mad, I'll have a panic attack later that day after figuring out how to twist the blame at myself, and then that person has to help me through the panic attack that they don't know they caused. I definitely don't need reminding about other people's emotions and vulnerabilities; I avoid upsetting them at all costs.
@JASCHUYLER
Those of us who're people pleasers generally use a lot of the GIVE skills in our daily life, so interpersonal effectiveness as a module can seem like it's going to be a waste of time. It might be that all the skills in Interpersonal are already learned behaviours for you -- in which case, that's awesome! Use it to solidify what you already know. It's okay if it comes easily.
On the other hand, it sounds like you could maybe benefit from some of the DEAR MAN stuff (and maybe FAST), and perhaps also working out when it's important to press for your own needs etc? Those are the skills I need the most work on as well, so I related to a lot of what you said. The other reason I think those might be indicated is because you mention that the person who has "caused" the panic attack ends up being the one who "has" to help you through it -- so there might be some subconscious passive-aggression there? I'm not saying you're being a jerk, or anything at all like that! But just the way you phrased it made me think that it's possible that using skills to be more assertive (and managing your emotions at the same time) could really be helpful.
Please know that I'm not trying to say "this is how it is for you", only "this is how it might be, based on my perspective over here". I hope this reply has been useful, and that DBT continues to help you in your growth and recovery - even if this module doesn't!