Idk anymore
I'm too hollow now. I've been self sabotaging by ordering useless shit and hurting myself. I'm hurting myself partly because I'm sad but mainly i want to feel something. When we die in games we dont feel anything. My fear of abandonment is starting to annoy people and that scares me alot. I opened up to my parents but they technically threw a bible to me. Idk if they can't accept it or they don't take me seriously
@fishythefish
im so sorry you're going through too much, fear of abandonment just sucks, it does the exact opposite and sometimes we end up driving the very same people we want close away and its so painful. I really hope things get better for you. Sending love and support<3
@fishythefish
Everything you've shared makes a lot of sense and feels really understandable.
- You're afraid that if you open up to others, they might abandon or reject you
- You're worried that by clinging onto people, it might burden them and cause them to abandon or reject you, which is a scary thing to imagine
- You feel like hurting yourself is a sort of self-sabotage, but it also feels like it helps just to be able to feel something/anything even if it's painful
