How much more do I have to deal with?
Im so tired and the depression I feel made the other feel like vacation. Just what is already in my mind is too overwhelming that I never let my thoughts focus on any one of the terrible losses. Now after my losing dad to a gunshot, what little I had was stoleb by family. Im terminal and its started to turn into anger. Im. Stuck
@kindTurtle3738
😢 I'd be angry too if I were already struggling with depression/trauma and then on top of that I had my dad die, my family steal everything from me, and then I had a terminal illness.
I'm not usually a huge fan of pushing gratitude/positivity on people, but I'm feeling drawn to it at the moment for some reason. Feel free to ignore this if it feels wrong/dumb. 😊
1) What are some things in your life that you're grateful for? (Can be either present things or past things.
2) What are some things you like/appreciate about yourself?
When I start to write things I was grateful for, I delete it because those things all turned out heartbreaking. I dont know how to separate past and present. I know how grateful I used to be for my sons, home, family, business, friends. Now it hurts to think of anything.
I have always kept my word to others. If I could do anything for someone to make it easier for them, I wouldn't hesitate. I used to bring my sons and niece to nursing homes because many of them are lonely and feel forgotten. I always wished I had done more. People knew they could count on me. Trust me. Never doubted I loved them. I was a damn good cook too. I loved to also make people laugh.
Thank you @QuietMagic for always helping me see the plus side of things!!
@kindTurtle3738
That makes sense that you wouldn't want to think about past things you were grateful for since it just hurts to think about things that you've lost. (And something I remember you saying in the past was that being grateful for present things feels dangerous because it's like, "Whatever I appreciate might disappear as soon as I start feeling attached to it.")
What you're
describing regarding being compassionate, generous, and reliable
matches what I've seen from you in my limited interactions on this site.
😊
