Support for more Personality Disorders
Hello All! My name is Taylor and I am both a Member and a listener on my other account [edited by RocketsMom for sharing account info]
I suffer from a commonly diagnosed Personality disorder called Dependent Personality Disorder, also called DPD (an Anxious Personality Disorder). When I come to seven cups seeking help, I never know which of the "Help Boxes" (you know, the "please click one so we can help find you a listener" thing.) to click because none of them seem to apply to me. I want to suggest that we add boxes for Personality disorders as well by the category of "Anxious Personality Disorders, Eccentric Personality Disorders, and Dramatic Personality Disorders"
this way the people that need it can find help. Thank you.
I'm new to this site and honestly this world of acknowledging different disorders and seeking help. Your idea makes sense. Would prob help a lot of ppl
@Capibaby15
Thank you so much!
@YourTallestPinkamena
This is an interesting idea!! I think the reason that personality disorders are not currently listed is that the topics members/guests choose from are more "in the moment" types of issues. Many of the categories listed are issues that can occur across multiple diagnoses and can occur without a mental health diagnosis involved whatsoever (for example, work stress and family stress). Are there any particular issues or situations that you see more often with the diagnoses that you listed that may be able to be listed instead (so that it may be a good category across multiple diagnoses)? Just brainstorming out loud here :)
@Amelia
well... I know with me I have a lot of fears being alone in the house because of my dependence on others... But I really mean what I said, we should be able to find people who know what it's like to deal with those problems. It would be helpful for those who cannot afford medications or actual therapy.
@YourTallestPinkamena
I think dependence issues might be a great category. Is that what you're thinking?
@Amelia
well yes, but I'm not just saying it for just me, I mean, other disorders should be able to get help...
@YourTallestPinkamena
I guess my idea is that we should pick symptoms that work for multiple disorders as it's more about the problematic symptoms at the time (plus, that way, we don't risk leaving someone out just because they haven't been diagnosed with something)
I agree, I have paranoid-schizoid personality disorder and find it really hard to find support anywhere.
@LittleLotte
mmhmm I think it would be good for those who are trying to get over symptoms and cannot afford medication or therapy.
@YourTallestPinkamena My biggest barrier is that I'm always told that "people like me" (ie. people with my diagnosis) don't respond to therapy which means I'm always blocked from referrals.
@LittleLotte
Same but not exactly true. A person with DPD such as I sometimes will get tired of feeling helpless and so will seek treatment.
@YourTallestPinkamena I've been trying to get treatment for the past year. I finally got some free CBT from a charity but that's ended. But because it went well, my doctor has finally agreed that some therapy might work for me and has given me a referral for an assessment. I'm not feeling hopeful as I think I'll just get let down again.
@LittleLotte
well if you don't hope than I can almost promise it won't work. :/ you should trust your doctor.
@YourTallestPinkamena It's very hard to trust my doctor when she has been almost abusive to me (long story). I've had such bad experiences with therapy and various therapists that it's hard for me to build up trust, and most of them just don't want to bother.
I gpt some free or low cost help from different places. Maybe it might help to google probono counseling. (Common term for Free counseling). There are also sliding scale places and family services run by the state. I think each state varies.
Ive definitely had my share of wonderful and painfully human and flawed therapists...
Ive heard it said that people with mental health issues and therapists can be flip sides of a coin. I think because it takes so much commitment and time, years and years and hours and hours..of committed study. From my own years of study... ive learned there is often a certain amount of (aware or unaware) projection of self that makes the topic of study so interesting... thus, the fine side of a coin... Therapists are people too! And some people are good matches for me and some not.
The therapist i thought was most scary that i ever met, believed she was raised by healthy parents and only doing therapy work as a form of paying forward. The problem was... since she was perfect, everything essentially then became my fault if anything went wrong between us. After a few visits, she casually in one breath matter of factly diagnosed me with a personality disorder, with a tone like she had just ordered coffee. I had never been diagnosed before. I was shocked, the next session when i told her my family therapist totally disagreed with her, she said i was difficult and she told me to pretend she never said anything, and that she was fine with me believing she was wrong! Then she sat there and expected me to move on and spill my guts. When i tried to discuss further about the effects of being suddenly diagnosed before establishing trust... and its effect on me, she said she would not be bullied by me and refused to discuss the topic further and we needed to move on...
I later read an article that named signs of when a therapeutic encounter is no longer healthy....
I never went back to that therapist. Because of the trauma from that therapist, i was reluctant to find and trust other therapists. It was a good lesson where i vowed never to let someone tell me who i am and believe them. I have to fearlessly look inside and find my own truth, no matter how ugly, scary or real... at least its my truth that ibe found with the god of my understanding.....
I think because i no longer fully trusted therapists, i relied much too heavily on sponsors from my twelve step group. (I see this now in hindsight, so thanks for helping me see this today). Problem was my 12 step sponsor was equally human and flawed, just like therapists but without the training. I didn't realize until much later that i was in a relatively unhealthy codependent relationship with my sponsor where i was always being fixed and she was getting self esteem from fixing me.
Long story short, imho...There are great therapist who really care and really help. Same with all folk. Genuine people who care.
I took me a long time to learn that part of life was learning how to separate the people that worked with me, and the ones that didnt. The more i looked, the better and faster i got at picking out good matches! Hope everyone hangs in there! Sending much love and prayers we all can be helped with what we need!
I do find going to 12 steps, helped and was cheap. Usually a buck or teo a meeting, but always free if you need it. ACA was good for dealing with trauma from flawed parenting and the effects of it. ACA stands for adult children of alcoholics (parents dont have to be alcoholic, just messed up, which qualifies most of the planet.... ) Codependents anonymous was goodfor learning how to take responsibility for self and self care and to manage self and boundaries... emotions anonymous good for work on acknowledging emotions... (if unaware)
i honestly want to delete this for fear of offending anyone... its a fear i often have.. and i delte a lot of my posts. maybe ill reread it again...lol.....
ok...time to post and not delete
@Flowingstreams
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am really sorry you had to deal with that therapist, the way she behaved sounds very unprofessional to be honest. You are very right when you say that therapists are just human beings, with their own flaws too. I think it is very important to remember this.
@admaiorasemper
thanks so much fr your message. The gift of the situation was that I learned from it not to value another persons definition of myself more than my trust in the god of my understanding and my own feelings and thoughts. Its also ironic though, because one cannot do brain surgery on oneself, so I have some friends and family and support people and therapists who i can go and reflect with, who I can count on being honest with me in terms of my own character flaws. In this way, i have essentially myself and a committe of friends and family and good professsional help who keep me honest..lol... i no longer allow one person to define me.... the feedback is always being processed through my consciousness with suport if I need it....thanks for reading to the end! Appreciate your patience!
@Flowingstreams
You are very welcome! And I am so inspired by your words :)
I like this alot: "[edited by RocketsMom for sharing account info]", keep doing it RocketsMom😉, good job 😂😂😋😂😂😂
Things have changed so much for me since I last wrote on this thread. I was re-diagnosed with 'Mixed personality disorder' which in some ways made it harder to access help but I was still determined. And now, about four years later, I have a therapist I trust and am doing so much better. Life is still challenging but I'm getting more out of it now due to lots of changes I have made, and finally finding the right medication for me.
@LittleLotte
thanks so much for your update! I am so happy for you that you are feeling so much better. So glad you persisted and stuck it out! Because I feel we each are so worth it! Thanks for sharing your inspiring message!