May not have aspd but I have conduct disorder.

@tin1027

Hi, welcome and thanks for sharing. 💜

That makes sense, sort of like everything feels boring, there are a lot of pent-up feelings, and all of that tends to express itself in ways that you aren't really happy with. Then when you see your symptoms/actions getting worse (as a result of that boredom trying to find things worth doing or ways of expressing itself and letting off steam), that leads to feeling more hopeless.

I know you mentioned that there is so much you could do that would still cause you to feel bored. I wonder if there are any things that maybe still satisfy that part of you that wants to do something risky or exciting--but without hurting anybody else or creating other social issues?

Something I've been reading about is that some people are just really high in a core psychological trait called sensation-seeking and need a lot of stimulation to feel satisfied/energized. From what I understand, lots of people with ASPD or conduct disorders tend to be higher in sensation-seeking. I wonder if possibly that would be something worth exploring and learning more about.