May not have aspd but I have conduct disorder.
Anhedonia comes in waves and it's horrible. I feel anger apathy & anxiety constantly. I am so tired of it.
I feel trapped... I have so many bad coping mechanisms for excessive boredom. I could do so much, and would still feel bored. Pointless, empty void with no sight to get out. Sometimes so bad that it's hard to move... that boredom that drives you mad. My conduct disorder symptoms and aspd symptoms are getting worse and I'm starting to feel despair. I need help. I don't know what to do
@tin1027
Hi, welcome and thanks for sharing. 💜
That makes sense, sort of like everything feels boring, there are a lot of pent-up feelings, and all of that tends to express itself in ways that you aren't really happy with. Then when you see your symptoms/actions getting worse (as a result of that boredom trying to find things worth doing or ways of expressing itself and letting off steam), that leads to feeling more hopeless.
I know you mentioned that there is so much you could do that would still cause you to feel bored. I wonder if there are any things that maybe still satisfy that part of you that wants to do something risky or exciting--but without hurting anybody else or creating other social issues?
Something I've been reading about is that some people are just really high in a core psychological trait called sensation-seeking and need a lot of stimulation to feel satisfied/energized. From what I understand, lots of people with ASPD or conduct disorders tend to be higher in sensation-seeking. I wonder if possibly that would be something worth exploring and learning more about.