I cannot love myself more than what I want to love.

maybe your happy ending is walking away from something that does not help you grow

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out"

- Doctor Susse

"So even when your bones feel like weights ,and its hard to put a smile on your perfect face. It'll be alright, they just jealous of your highs and they can knock you down but like the air you can rise"

"A diamond is a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well." - unknown

I've always interpreted this as have my life's trials build me up and make me stronger, not break me down.

Be happy be kind be pretty

Smile and breath

"My mama told me that sometimes people have to cry out all their tears to make room for a heart full of smiles."

This is a quote from my favourite actor - jared padalecki:

Everyone is given a candle that burns just for them. When your flame flickers you fear it will go out. Know not even the strongest winds are forever and there are other lights to guide you even in the darkness. And when your candle burns bright, it will ignite the hearts of others and hope will spread like a wildfire; always keep fighting and you'll never fight alone

- jared padalecki (supernatural actor)

These last two years have been exhilarating and exhausting,
Days came and they went
People came and they left
I have made memories with friends who became family

, and spent nights with family who felt like strangers.
I have laughed and I have cried,

I remember the drunken nights and Sunday lunches the hangovers, Pizza boxes stacked and empty wine bottles

The meaningless hookups and one night stands

these last two years have been exhilarating and exhausting
I have learned and tried and failed and failed and failed
I have stood up and I fallen again
I have had to learn about heartache and heartbreak and hellos and goodbyes.
I have experienced success and failures and have dealt with trauma and shock and surprise .

Disappointments and let downs

I met my best friend who became a sister and a second half and I have lost her, I have done death and regret and guilt and depression

First loves and last names

And more

Loss and love
And being in love and finding new love
I learnt about serendipity and faith and feit, and farewells too.
I have ran so far and so often that I lost my way my home and myself too.
I found happiness somewhere in all my sorrows and sorrow in my happiness
I have lost my family and I have found them again
I learnt about forgiveness and I have forgiven
I have quit smoking about 100 times and I'm still quiting it weekly in my mind
I have slept with men to many to count and I have hurt people much to often
I have been proud and stubborn and self destructive and I've had to suffer the consequences

I've lied and been lied to

I've traveled and teached and learnt

But if I look back at it all
I'd say that it was two years of heaven and it was two years of hell