Queer Married Father

I'm a 36 year old queer man (identify as bi generally), married to my wife and we have a 3 year old daughter together. I thought I did it all right...I came out as bi/queer to my wife before we got engaged, I've worked with a therapist for a long while, we have a fun open relationship where I've had ample opportunity to explore and for a few years I felt like I had cultivated and nourished this incredible unheard of amazing life. I know so many bisexual men who don't come out at all, or live shadow lives and I had built a life out in the light with everything I wanted. 

We dated a man together for a year and it was amazing. My wife and I both fell in love for him, but he only had love for me and it ended poorly...it's been more than a year, I've made a lot of peace with everything, but I miss him still...every day. That experience felt like it blossomed feelings that I had never felt before, ever. It was a love and attraction deeper than anything I had ever experienced and now I'm beginning to question if my queerness is actually more suitable for relationships with men...I've thought of what it would be like to not be married to my wife anymore and I feel so torn at that thought...I've build a life with my wife and we have a family together and everything is fine, seemingly, except I feel this deep, intuitive feeling for something different, something else, but that feels simultaneously like what I want and need and also a mistake that is an illusion. 

- From the man that thought he had it all...