Queer Married Father
I'm a 36 year old queer man (identify as bi generally), married to my wife and we have a 3 year old daughter together. I thought I did it all right...I came out as bi/queer to my wife before we got engaged, I've worked with a therapist for a long while, we have a fun open relationship where I've had ample opportunity to explore and for a few years I felt like I had cultivated and nourished this incredible unheard of amazing life. I know so many bisexual men who don't come out at all, or live shadow lives and I had built a life out in the light with everything I wanted.
We dated a man together for a year and it was amazing. My wife and I both fell in love for him, but he only had love for me and it ended poorly...it's been more than a year, I've made a lot of peace with everything, but I miss him still...every day. That experience felt like it blossomed feelings that I had never felt before, ever. It was a love and attraction deeper than anything I had ever experienced and now I'm beginning to question if my queerness is actually more suitable for relationships with men...I've thought of what it would be like to not be married to my wife anymore and I feel so torn at that thought...I've build a life with my wife and we have a family together and everything is fine, seemingly, except I feel this deep, intuitive feeling for something different, something else, but that feels simultaneously like what I want and need and also a mistake that is an illusion.
- From the man that thought he had it all...
@patientThinker2448
I applaud you is being open and honest before marriage and like you said many have married and kept their feelings secret. Anytime we bring in someone else and date while in a marriage while on surface sounds like a good deal to get all needs met. Each example i have seen in my life ends your perfect life.
The man you dated for year wanted you alone not your wife and family ... that is on him not you i am sure he was aware of your life when you met. new and exciting getting to know a person and new feelings are great we forget the fun we had with spouse etc... i mean the memory dulls not completely forget...
the new love experience can be Limerence ,,, look it up and read about it can help you figure outt things .. the break up was painful and mind always go to what if.