Married & Questioning – Navigating Without Hurting Anyone
I’m in my late 30s, married, with a child, and only recently started questioning my sexuality. For most of my life, I assumed I was straight, but over the last few months, I’ve felt something shift, and I can’t ignore it anymore. It’s confusing, exciting, and honestly a bit terrifying.
I want to be clear that I love my wife and don’t want to hurt her in any way, shape, or form. This isn’t about acting on impulse or doing anything behind her back. I have already spoken to her about making connections in the community, but I haven’t told her exactly where I stand yet, because, truthfully, I’m still figuring that out myself. I need to understand who I am, what this means for me, and what space I want to occupy in the world.
Right now, I don’t know exactly what this means. I feel drawn to exploring it, but at the same time, I worry about what this could mean for my life. I guess I’m just looking to hear from others who’ve been through something similar, especially if you started questioning later in life.
If anyone has been through this—figuring things out while in a long-term relationship, navigating attraction later in life, or just generally understanding their identity—I’d love to hear how you handled it. I appreciate any advice or perspectives!
I hear you, and I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of this right now. It sounds incredibly overwhelming, and it’s understandable to feel all over the place as you're navigating such a big shift in how you see yourself.
