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Advice on coming out before it's too late (CW: mention of death)
greenOcean9601 September 25th, 2022
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I need advice. It has been two years since I realized I am asexual and am more than happy with my identity. I am currently out to basically anyone besides immediate family (for many reasons I prefer not to disclose atm). However, I just found out that my grandfather may not have much time left. I am wondering if I should come out to him before he passes. On one hand, I do want him to know a crucial part of my identity (as I am one of his only grandchildren), but I'm scared that the news will spread to other people in my family before I'm ready to tell them. There also runs the risk that this news will generally stress him out, which I don't want for his final days. If anyone has advice, I am more than willing to recieve it. Thank you for reading this very long wall of text.

1
KimByeongIn September 25th, 2022
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@greenOcean9601

First of all, I'm happy that you've found peace with your identity. Self-validation is very important. Secondly, I'm sorry about your grandfather. I hope you'll be fine.

Now, let's come to the issue. I understand how you're feeling. I can't give you any advice, since it's you who's living your life but I'd suggest you think it through before you take any action. There might be several reasons why you don't want anyone to know about you. Therefore, you can weigh the why's and the why not's so that even if you decide to disclose your identity, you have backup measures.

Also, you are not obligated to share anything about yourself for any other reason that "you want to do it". Put your feelings first.

I hope you'll reach a decision that'll calm your mind.

Wishing you the best.

Kim.

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