Lost a friendship with a girl I really liked
Just in a really weird situation.
We had told each other that we were both romantically interested in each other after 18 months of being friends, spent Valentine’s Day together and it was lovely.
The next day she tells me she’s met a boy she’s interested in, I got upset because she swore there wasn’t anyone else, and then she disappears and doesn’t talk to me again.
That’s the absolute bare-bones of what happened because this has genuinely been the most confusing and convoluted relationship I’ve had with anyone, platonic or otherwise.
Has anyone had a similar situation before? Any advice? x
@SwanOfAges
So after 18 month of friendship you both wanted to try as romantic and then she jsut says there is someone else and disappears...
You had a lovely evening but perhaps she did not see it that way . ....
sometimes when we think we want something but when we try it on it really does not work like we thought...... If that is the case she could have been more upfront and asked to go back to being friends....... not going to sugar coat it that would still hurt.
I went on date with a friend ........ he was a nice guy......... but i just did not see it happening after the date attempt.....i told him we could just be friends that also was a bit awkward and many people do not like going through that phase.
Basically! The weirdest part is that she was the one who initiated the romantic involvement on that day. We were both reciprocating each other’s advances and then spoke later that night, seemingly both having been happy in each other’s company. Then comes that bombshell. I don’t know if it was malicious and she had planned on leading me on then ditching me, but I have no way of finding out. I can’t very well message her after all of this 🤦♀️
Oh, I should probably mention that a few weeks prior, she had warned me away from talking to this boy. I’m starting to think it’s because they were involved with each other from back then and she didn’t want me finding out. Am I being paranoid?
@SwanOfAges
That’s sketchy.
You’re not paranoid. If you try to connect the dots or back track whatever she mentioned, you’ll see the bigger picture.
@SwanOfAges
IMO you are not paranoid.......her idea to pursue romantic relations may be a clue....
Example a person has a relationship that breaks off for whatever reason ( her and the other boy) ....she is unsure she wants to rekindle so thinks i will go on a date with someone else (you) .... if sparks fly she can leave other boy in past but when it was nice but not what she expected she may be open to retrying with this other person. i saw this accept a date with someone you are friends with to show you are dating to this other person to kick start them to say "hey no go out with me "
I have seen something similar happen with someone i know ..... was not fair to be used as distraction or to create a competition like response from other person.
@SwanOfAges
What? She initiated the relationship and she decided to go AWOL.
@SwanOfAges
Maybe the bond that you had as friends could be to the next level as bff’s but not really as a couple. The love and care are seen and felt but maybe never worked out as lovers.
It is kinda confusing if she suddenly disappears just because she met a boy. What was she thinking?
No, no, no, this was definitely a sketchy situation. I was really confused and decided to ask some people she knew if they had any context and this is just plain wrong. Basically, I have some information now that, had I known earlier, I wouldn’t have even associated with her in the first place. Dodgy as ***.
The only conflict I have now is coming to terms with the fact the girl I loved isn’t the person I thought she was 😣
@SwanOfAges
same for me he broke my heart 3 months in the week after valentines day i cried for 3 hours (looking back he was a D**k tbh) but yeah been two months now and glad i don't have him in my life anymore! (im 15 prob not the best at relationship stuff but yeah)
Ahh 💝 thank you for reminding me how time can heal wounds, I need to focus on that x
