Need Advice (TW: Sexuality explicit discussion)

My wife is a Trans female who has says that she has a high s*x drive, and I am a female who has a moderate to low s*x drive. I struggle with body image as I am obese and have been most my life, and have had past relationships where my partner said they love my body, but when they watch p**nography its all skinny women or women with exaggerated features. Now my wife watches p*rn behind my back, watching Trans stuff and only skinny people doing p*rn.... And it has made me doubt myself and hate my body, and I have gained serious trust issues because of this. My partner says that it's my fault for having a low s*x drive and for not wanting to do more sexual things with her (it's not that I don't want to, it's that I'm depressed and anxious all the time, which makes it hard to keep up a libido). I want to more forward from this and trust that she will stop hurting me with her choices when she knows how it makes me feel.... But I feel like she will never stop using that against me and then using p*rn to hurt me intentionally. I don't know where to go from here. I love her to death, and I love our kids more than anything, but I'm struggling to see a good future for us.