Left confused and really hurt

So, I’ll try and make this story brief. A while back I formed a friendship with someone who is currently married to a male. I had this amazing connection with her, which led her to exploring more with her interest in women and she developed a major crush on me during the bond we created with one another. I never had any intentions to form a romantic relationship with her but our emotional connection was amazing and it inevitably happened. She spent months pursuing me, obsessing over me, telling me she was in love with me. Her attention was overwhelming and it ultimately led me into having feelings for her. I knew the situation wasn’t ideal, but she always refused to let me go and worried so much about me ending things and cutting her off.

I was never able to hurt her, I honestly adored our bond and I ultimately wanted us to be the best of friends because we were so connected. She was the first girl I ever explored romantically with, as I’ve always been heterosexual and dated men. Everything was new and at times very confusing for me. But I cared for her so much and put the gender roles aside.

After months of spending time and talking to one another nearly every hour of the day, out of the blue two months ago she cut me off - suddenly, without warning and blocked me entirely from her life. I was in the midst of trying to navigate everything and always still wanted her to be part of my life as I was certain we would work through her overwhelming feelings for me. But we never got there.

I sit here now still grieving her. We never had a formal conversation, she gave me absolutely nothing but a brief email suggesting I do therapy to sort things out. She hung up on me in the midst of me crying trying to ask her what’s going on. It was possibly the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to me. Traumatizing really. I miss her so much as she was a constant in my life. It’s as if she died and I was never able to say goodbye. And she’s never checked in on me again to see if I was ever still alive or how I was coping. Meanwhile I think about her all the time.

I really just need a friend or listener to help me during this healing journey. I haven’t been able to discuss it with anyone really because of the privacy of the situation.

Someone help me process this all. It’s just been so much for me to handle. I’m always sad and still confused 😔