In Love with my Best Friend

Hi.

So, um…

I just came out as LGBTQ, and I um… I figured it out partially because I am attracted to my best friend, romantically. Even though I know we can’t be together… I would never get in the way of her current relationship, even though it isn’t a healthy one. I want to respect her. But I can’t help feeling that she would be happier with me. 

I told her I only think of her as a sister. Which sort of isn’t totally true. 

I didn’t realize how strong my feelings for her are until she admitted that she would not have minded doing romantic things together, if things were different. I almost cried today, thinking about how the odds appear stacked against her and I.

I love her so much. I would never wish to hurt her. What should I do? Do I just go on waiting, and keep it to myself? It makes me so sad, thinking we can never be. That fate does not appear to be in our favor. Also, her parents are very conservative. So, I know they may not handle it well, if and when we ever did get together. I also wouldn’t EVER want to be the reason her current relationship breaks apart, even though I don’t approve of it completely. He has shown red flags.

I feel like her and I would be very happy together. And I love her with everything I have. All my soul. She and I are alike in a lot of ways, even if we do have some differences. I am having trouble picturing myself with anybody else.

Is any of this normal? I did not know where to go to for help.

~ P