Gender identity and children
What do you think when parents should start to encourage their children about finding their own gender? Which age would you set as a starting point from which on you should take a child‘s eventual genderfluidity serious? What are your experiences?
Context:
Today, in biology, my class disputed about this. Our teacher told us about a genderfluid kid in the 5th grade and how the genderfluidity confused her. She did not take him seriously and obviously thought it was „too much“ that his moms always encouraged him to „pick whatever gender he likes“. She totally focused on the kid being a biological boy but regularly switching genders, and really could not understand why. I thought that she was overreacting, but to my surprise, my class agreed on her saying that her parents took it too far, and that they basically pushed their kid into being bullied (btw the kid’s class did not have any problems with it at all, she said that the kid was not bullied at all). To say I was speechless is unnecessary. I think that, especially for young kids, it is really important that their parents give them an option to be what they want to be from a very early age on. But I somehow still see my teacher‘s confusion, and that she did not take the child too seriously (the kid I am talking about was 11), as I said, the kid was and is still young. But I know how hurting it can be when adults do not respect your decisions as a kid, and how big the frustration can be. And I can only imagine what a HUGE problem this is for genderfluid, non-binary or transgender people, even as adults, as I have a possibly genderfluid sibling.
So, what do you think? Am I overreacting? What are your experiences with situations like these? And are there any scientific sources about this topic?
@alicethefrog
i think parents should only allow children to find their gender - fluidity when their children are old enough to date , cause genderfluidity only is a concern during relationships. if you have different take on it, i would love to learn about it.
I see your point and I (at least partially) agree with you. My problem is that
first, I think children should grow up in liberal environments that encourage them to find a way of their own. This includes, at least to me, a non-gendertypical way to raise the children and education about LGBTQ community, but other things such as religious freedom and education, political education (without an influence) and basic science and morality. So, a kid being raised without strict „genderrules“ should be more likely to accept itself throughout its life.
HOWEVER I know that especially young children are not that good when it comes to making decisions. Still, I know how deeply it
can hurt if adults do not respect you and your decisions as a child. That is the issue for me: I want to respect the child‘s decisions even though they might not be thought throughly. Yk what Imean?
@alicethefrog children should be free to explore their identity however they wish, without being influenced by any social norms (except those that concern respecting other's wellbeing and boundaries, of course). Exploring their gender identity can truly help a child feeling good about themselves and the way they interact with the world, and not being free to do so can be very harmful. Of course children are very changeable, but that's not just about gender, it's about any single think they do. It's ok to not assume that whatever gender they express now will be the same they identify as for their whole life (that goes with apparently cisgender kids too), but we should acknowledge that if that's what they're feeling right now, their feeling is valid and should be respected and taken seriously. That's who they are right now.