CW: sexual abuse. Recovering from transphobia torture.

There was an adult, I feel I remember them staying with my uncle on my moms side. I was a child, I would ask for help with something I feel like was a medical necessity, I felt I could trust them but it turned out I could not, I feel I remember them touching my genitalia inappropriately and forcing me to tell them I was “a girl”, even when I was younger I recognized my genitalia did not define who I am, this adult felt it did and used societal norms to repeatedly sexually assault me. They would make me feel good “helping” relieve a medical issue and calling me beautiful etc. making sure lighting was good, making sure I had pillows, only if I complied to saying back to them I was a girl. It felt all a manipulation to change how I am. I am not a girl because I have certain parts, I would tell them that and they would punish me, if I shut up and took it and complied then I would get praise. It feels like extreme torture perspecticide abuse to make a situation comfortable and nice in ways I asked so I could find relief but then forcing me to say something I am not, forcing me to submit to societal expectations of gender and my body, it broke my spirit, I have no idea how to recover from this. How do I get justice for what was done to me? I feel like I tried when I was a kid but no one took me seriously I feel like they said “we will see how you feel when you are older”, I am older now and I realize what happened to me was evil and bad and no one should ever be subjected to that torture.