All The Time I Wasted
I lived most of my life as a bisexual person. I don't know where the obligation to pretend I was attracted to men came from yet. Societal pressures? My family? Either way, I ended up in a lot of dangerous and abusive situations because of this stupid obligation. I wasted so many years on the worst kinds of men. I look back on the years now, knowing that I never was attracted to them to begin with, and I'm just filled with shame and deeper regrets.
All those years, and what did I get out of it? Trust issues. Trauma. Fear. Paranoia. How do I even start this new life for myself when I feel it's too late?
I want to find a partner so badly. I want to find community in people who understand. Who wants someone with this kind of baggage?
The men I wasted time with made sure I knew no one wanted me. I can't see any other reality.
@thelindzchronicles
Dropping in to give you a hug (if that is acceptable)
Sounds like you have been through a lot. Thank you for being so brave and strong.
I hope you get all the support and the love you deserves.