Struggle vent
Hi my name is Bobby. I’m 27 years old, working two jobs and in school too. Lately I’ve been struggling with myself a little bit. Work and school have been keeping me preoccupied. I like men but also like women if a man is around if that makes sense (sexually, emotionally, physically, etc). I struggle with liking straight men when I know I don’t have a shot with them. I’ve tried online dating so much and I’ve just been taken advantaged of financially, emotionally, and mentally. I hate being catfished and I am too trusting, have to big of a heart, too naive, and caring. I’ve been assaulted (or raped) by other guys who were drunk or just didn’t take no for an answer so I would be hurt by that. Online, it would take me a while to realize someone has scammed me or catfished me because I was too dumb enough to see it, I would feel number and my emotions would feel shut off. What I am trying to say is that I’m struggling to find the right person for me and keep falling for the wrong men and wishing they were with me or wish they were into men too and such. I’m know I have to accept it all and move on, but we can’t just snap our fingers and we would get what we want. I just think being gay or bi or whatever I am is difficult. Either the guys just want to hookup or the straight guys just get to weirded out by me. Not sure where there good guys are anymore tbh. I know I’m all over the place, it’s just a lot on my mind. Thank you for reading 😊
Hey Bobby!
I feel you dear. I have been there. Even right now my heart is aching and I can literally feel sharp pain in my chest. I tried long distance. First one, we turned into besties because we knew we could not be together. Still besties for 5 years and going! Second time around 6 months ago, I was clear from the beginning that we could only be friends but we had fun and intimate chats initially but then I fell for him. now he has found someone to date and I am very happy for him. But deep down I am hurting a lot. He keeps saying that I was the best that happend to him and that he would always be my friend but I can see the communication is dying as he doesn't text often or text first. If I don't text, he probably won't or at least. I think so.
Also I fell for my chubby straight best friend and it was painful being around him all the time even when I knew it was never possible.
I am the same as you, a big kind heart, extremely loving, empathetic, caring and supportive. I have so much love to give but yet no one there. Haha. I am very happy with whatever I have in life and have no greed for material. It's just I am unlucky in romance department and I am slowly working on accepting that maybe it's not for me. I know the feeling of something missing is there but I still have many other things to be thankful for.
So know that you are not alone. Stay strong and learn to love yourself.
hhey people
@Keystone100
Dropping in to give you a hug (if that is ok)
I'm writing to tell you that you have been so brave and strong. To think what you have been through...
It sounds like a lot if people around you have not been appreciating your caring and trust in they right way, they have hurted you.
I hope you get all the support and empowerment you deserves and life treats you gently with kindness and affection.
It can take a really long time and effort to find the right person, but eventually , we will, please don't lose faith.
Hey that's a traumatising experience, may u build the strength and let kindness and compassion blanket wrap u around