My now ex gf (F 20) and I (F 21) just broke up because we’re too in love with each other. Is it a bad idea to get back together?
Some background, we met freshman year in college and were friends for a while before getting into a relationship. By the end of freshman year we had been dating for a few months and due to the housing market we decided to move in together. We talked about it beforehand and agreed that living together would make it difficult to have our own lives and experiences in college, but we figured we could make it work if we tried. We’ve been living together for about 2 years, and we’ve had my family dog living with us for most of that. Over these 2 years both of us have become fairly codependent and have struggled with maintaining our friendships. We are extremely in love with each other but don’t feel like we’re really happy in the relationship. We talked about our issues in the relationship a couple months ago and we both agreed that for us to truly work on ourselves and become independent people we needed to break up. At first we talked about just taking a break for the summer, but we decided that having a deadline on getting back together would allow us to postpone our self improvement until we were back with each other. So yesterday we broke up after me and the dog joined for her family vacation. We had carpooled so she had to drop me off so she could go home, and during the last hour or so of the drive the situation started to become terrifyingly real to me. I realized that I was not only going to be losing my gf, but also my best friend, roommate, and the mother of my child (dog). We said goodbye and the only way I was able to let go was by convincing myself that we would see each other at the end of summer no matter what. It’s been just over 24 hrs and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. All I want is to do is talk to her and hold her but I can’t and it’s killing me. I’ve already called her twice just to hear her voice and I could tell that she was having similar feelings and difficulties. The last time I called her she started sobbing and had to hang up, and I haven’t been able to stop crying since then. I’ve been struggling to eat and all I want to do is smoke cigarettes even though I know I’ll throw up if I smoke on an empty stomach. I’ve been through a couple major breakups before and I know that time heals all wounds, but I just can’t stop wanting to call her and get back together. Is that such a bad idea? I’ve been trying to make friends and become independent so we wouldn’t have to do this but the only friends I have are apart of the friend group and I haven’t been able to make any new ones so right now it feels like I have no one to talk to. I guess that’s why I’m writing this right now. Should I talk to her about getting back together? Or just being friends but still able to talk? Or being open or something? Or should I just let her move on and try to do the same myself. Any advice or kind words will be much appreciated.
@enthusiasticCar9248 I don't understand why two people who love each other and have no real problems want to separate, just because they find themselves too dependent on each other? It's not good to have strong dependence on each other, but is it a good thing for two people to be heartbroken after separation? It will only get worse. I think since she is also uncomfortable, why can't you follow your heart, or your heart, and go back? The problem of mutual dependence is very easy to solve, it's even easier than sterilizing your dog. Two people should really have their own space. You can find different jobs, hug each other when you get home, eat together, and feed the dog together. Each of you has your own life, but each of you has each other in your life.
@enthusiasticCar9248 can't imagine how tough this breakup must be for you. It sounds incredibly painful, especially considering your deep connection and shared life. Take your time to heal and process everything. It's okay to feel lost and unsure right now.
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@enthusiasticCar9248 I also haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. And All I want is to do is talk to her and hold her but I can’t and it’s killing me here.
Lol, I can't give professional advice I'm just a pan lesbian rn but I say go back to her. Unless a part of the relationship felt toxic to you. But if you both want to grow I think a part of growing is learning how to handle conflicts and navigate separate lives together. It's possible
@enthusiasticCar924It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time right now. Breakups, especially with someone you’ve built a life with, are heartbreaking. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of what to do next. You’re not just losing a romantic partner, but also your best friend, roommate, and shared companion in the dog. These feelings of emptiness are valid, and it’s okay to be hurting.
From what you’ve shared, it seems like both of you care deeply for each other but have recognized the need to grow as individuals. The decision to break up wasn’t made lightly, and while it’s hard right now, it was based on wanting to become better, more independent versions of yourselves. It’s natural to want to reach out for comfort, but calling her frequently might prolong both of your healing processes and make it harder to truly work on yourselves.
Talking about getting back together, being friends, or even keeping the lines of communication open could be tempting, but consider whether that would truly help you grow. Right now, it seems like giving each other space might be the healthiest option, even though it’s painful. Sometimes, letting go can help you find yourselves again—and who knows what the future holds. But right now, it’s important to focus on you.
Lean on other friends, family, or even a therapist if you can. Surrounding yourself with support, even if it doesn’t feel the same, can help you navigate this transition. It might be hard to make new friends right now, but the process takes time—just as healing does. Be kind to yourself, take small steps, and try not to rush your feelings. If you truly want what’s best for both of you, give yourselves the space to grow, even though it’s hard.
Time will make things clearer, and with space, you’ll both be able to see what’s best for your future, whether together or apart.seeing stars challenge
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Sir Right now, it seems like giving each other space might be the healthiest option, even though it’s painful from spotify mod apk.
Now I’ve been trying to make friends and become independent so we wouldn’t have to do this but the only friends I have are apart of the friend group and I haven’t been able to make any new ones so right now it feels like I have no one to talk to *** pro. I guess that’s why I’m writing this right now. Should I talk to her about getting back together? thanks
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@enthusiasticCar9248 I’m really sorry you’re going through this – breakups can be so painful, especially when you’re still in love. It sounds like you both recognized that the relationship was becoming too codependent, and that’s an important step. As hard as it is right now, the time apart could help you both grow and figure out what you really need. I know it’s tough, but maybe try to focus on healing and becoming more independent before deciding if getting back together is the right choice. It might help to give each other space and see how you feel after some time. And remember, it’s okay to reach out to friends, family, or even a counselor for support during this tough time. You’ve got this.