Introduction
Hi. I'm new to 7 cups. I'm just looking for someone who can understand what I'm going through because I feel really alone. I've struggled with severe anxiety and some depression for years. I was prescribed medication and it has helped with general stuff like social anxiety, but recently nothing has helped. I'm bisexual. I came out about 3 years ago when I was a sophomore in highschool. A bit over a year ago I fell in love with this girl - my bestfriend actually. She's bi too, but she's Tamil and so there is no world in which she can be with a girl. It wouldn't matter anyway because she clearly doesn't feel the same way about me. And it took a while but I came to accept that she didn't have feelings for me and we couldn't be together. But even as a friend, it's obvious she doesn't care about me as much as I care about her. She will deny it but I know its true. My biggest fear is her leaving, moving on and leaving me behind. I dont know why I have such a big fear of abandonment but I do. My anxiety makes me very paranoid. I tend to overthink everything she says and does. She thinks I'm crazy, and I know some of it is in my head, but I also know what is real. I just need someone to tell me I'm not crazy.
Welcome to 7 Cups, I'm really glad you reached out. It takes a lot of courage to share what you're going through, especially when you're feeling alone and overwhelmed. I want you to know that you're not crazy, and what you're experiencing is valid. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of difficult emotions, especially around your relationship with your best friend and your fear of abandonment. It's completely normal to feel anxious and paranoid, especially when you care deeply about someone and fear losing them. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to seek support and validation from others. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this, and there are people who understand what you're going through and want to help.