Introduction

Hi. I'm new to 7 cups. I'm just looking for someone who can understand what I'm going through because I feel really alone. I've struggled with severe anxiety and some depression for years. I was prescribed medication and it has helped with general stuff like social anxiety, but recently nothing has helped. I'm bisexual. I came out about 3 years ago when I was a sophomore in highschool. A bit over a year ago I fell in love with this girl - my bestfriend actually. She's bi too, but she's Tamil and so there is no world in which she can be with a girl. It wouldn't matter anyway because she clearly doesn't feel the same way about me. And it took a while but I came to accept that she didn't have feelings for me and we couldn't be together. But even as a friend, it's obvious she doesn't care about me as much as I care about her. She will deny it but I know its true. My biggest fear is her leaving, moving on and leaving me behind. I dont know why I have such a big fear of abandonment but I do. My anxiety makes me very paranoid. I tend to overthink everything she says and does. She thinks I'm crazy, and I know some of it is in my head, but I also know what is real. I just need someone to tell me I'm not crazy.