Gay people who fell in love with someone straight

If you’re gay and already fell in love with someone straight, please share your story, I’m struggling with this right now.

Mine:

I met this girl in my school and we we’re friends but not super close. One day the teacher decided to “change the classroom” and we sit together. Math is hard for me, she could see it and started to help me day and we became more close, we started to talk more and we found out we liked the same things. She is kind and is always trying to tell me that I’m not stupid, that I’m intelligent and enough, and always is watching the shows I tell her to watch. Anyways, I think she likes a boy (our friend) but this boy has a girlfriend (they’re a really cute couple, I know them both and they’re so sweet together) and she never told him about it, but i start to wonder why he doesn’t like her, if she’s so perfect in every aspect I could tell you. She’s pretty smart, kind, and I slowly started to feel things for her. She see me as a friend, but is always holding my hand, she has some social anxiety so every single time we are in a room full of people she takes my hand and hold tightly, like if her life depended of this, and I started to silently beg for the universe that the corridors were always full, so she would always take my hands. She always put her face on my neck, and I like to feel her hot breath in my skin. Every time she try to help me in math I get more dumb, because I can’t do anything wile she’s looking at me with her eyes, but even though that, she always looks at me and say that I’m not dumb and she would help me. One time we’re at the theater watching a movie and held my hand too, I didn’t even remember the story of the movie, but I remember that we’re always talking. At least for me, this should be a cute romance story, but that’s not happening because she’s straight (I think) and she doesn’t know that I’m actually lesbian, so it breaks my heart. I didn’t saw her in a wile because school ended, but I’m gonna see her at my birthday next week, and the next year too, so I don’t know if I can act normal with her without saying this, but I don’t want to lose her friendship so I’ll never tell her that I like her.