Bi Feeling Alone
Hi there I’m Bisexual
All of my friends basically assumed I was gay, so for all of highschool I kept my “hetero” side to myself because I rarely like women. Regardless of me having” things” with women over the years everyone always labeled me as gay, even my best friend used to be like “i try to convince myself i’m straight too sometimes” but this isn’t the same, I’m genuinely bisexual. I told my other best friend I had feelings for her and she said that she thought I was strictly into guys. We haven’t really talked in two weeks, I’m afraid she thinks I was somehow keeping my “hetero” side as a secret to be a creep? I wasn’t at all doing that, and we were never in situations where anything like that would happen. I just didn’t feel it was necessary to correct them when they made jokes about me not liking cats.
I don’t know what to do, I feel so alone. I really want to sit with all my friends and tell them “hey btw y’all know i’m bi right” but I also don’t think it’s any of their business. I just don’t want them to think I’m hiding it or don’t talk about it for a weird reason. What should I do?
I’m on the flip side of this- I tend to end up with dudes and look like I’m only “hetero”. People have said some really icky things to me and constantly downplayed my identity as a pansexual queer person.
Ultimately, I had to learn how to just stop caring what others thought. I don’t need to pass some sort of weird arbitrary barrier of being “gay enough”. I am the way I am. And whatever people might say, I am ok. It sounds like this mentality might help you as well. If your “friends” are sitting here and labeling you as exclusively gay when you’ve clarified that you are bi, maybe it’s time to move on.
That is a great example that we all can benefit from learning. Ultimately, coming is and should always be how you are letting others know more about you as a person instead of trying to conform to any particular labels. Labels are supposed to help us describe ourselves, not the other way round.
Coming out is*
This genuinely helped me a lot, and you’re totally right I shouldn’t care tbh. I think I just wanted to feel like they saw me, but I’m going to work on the idea that seeing myself is enough to be happy and comfortable in my own identity. Thank you for sharing your experience!