My gender is completely broken

@TheChaotic1 sounds tough, I'm going through something similar myself.. I just wanna look truly androgynous, y'know? And I get mad at myself when I look too feminine or something.. and I also understand the whole name ordeal. I wanted to change my name for years, even before I figured out my gender. I just never thought it fit, well, me. I still don't think my name fits me entirely, but I definitely feel a lot more comfortable with Remi because of it being gender neutral, so no matter how I'm feeling it still works! Something else that helped me with choosing names was looking up gender neutral or nonbinary name ideas on Pinterest or YouTube, especially when they have their meanings with them. But I know some nonbinary people who chose names that are objects or actions, my 2nd name that I use is actually riot, even if it's not a name I still feel comfortable with it being my name. I wish I could just magically make you not confused anymore, but I hope that at least this makes sense and that it helps:3

You absolutely have the right to choose a name that is yours, not a bequest from your parents. There are more options than you might think: You could go by a surname, and most of those are derived from trades rather than gender roles. I've known two different gender-queer folks who simply went by "Red", so some adjective like that which describes your appearance or your soul could work. (A single letter could also work, as with "V" in Cyberpunk 2077) And of course there *are* gender-neutral names -- it's not coincidence that I go by "Robin" even though I *currently* tend to only present as masc.

For understanding friends, you could also have multiple names, that reflect your day-to-day variations. You could, for example, be Tina when presenting feminine, Tony when presenting masc, and T when it's too much trouble to be either.

But the only real recommendation I have is to not limit yourself, and to give yourself time to choose what works for you.

Hi Chaotic,

I actually thought about a movie some years ago called Ladybird, which talks about a young teen who goes by Ladybird as a name. She's quite a free spirit and I find it an inspiring way to be unapologetically yourself by claiming a name you truly identify with. I hope you can find that special name that works for you and show the world who you are!~ woohoo!~

@TheChaotic1 Hey there. I'm nonbinary/trans. It can be very emotionally draining. I try my best to not think about it so much, yet something always ponders my mind, sending me further down the rabbit hole. I'm now trying to embrace it more without worry or fear and that seems to be helping. Writing down or speaking your thoughts out loud is also helpful. Whatever names you prefer go by those cause that will make you happy :)