Welp . 👄.
I'm gay and I'm a Muslim, living in a Muslim country ;-; (here it comes, also first post here btw) and where I'm from it's illegal to the point you get shot/killed for identifying yourself as gay, and most people just live like that in secret. I don't know how I'll ever come out to my family, as far fetched and impossible as it seems, or if they'll disown me if I do. It's not like my family is bad at all, don't get me wrong, I love them all very much and my parents have made great sacrifices for me and are kind and loving to me, but I don't want to complicate things so much and make them think bad of me just because of a certain way I feel. I want to live up to their expectations, and my mother always tenderly tells me how I should look towards the future, be married to a woman and have a fulfilling job and make her proud, but I just don't see girls that way... Like I'll upend everything over by breaking a law. I don't want to do that obv but then again, I don't know what to do at all >w< I feel burned out just thinking about it all the time and it's really getting on my nerves and I wish I could just change or erase that problematic part of me completely :l