Sex after breakup

Hi all, I recently (5 months ago) got out of a 2 year relationship. It was my first love, and only person ive had sex with. I have some sexual trauma that I was forcing myself to go through at the time, and I thought none of that would matter once we broke up and I start dating/having hook ups. However every time Ive tried to have sex since then I start to overthink and get anxious and end up not getting hard/ going soft bc my mind is racing a million miles a minute. I wish I could just flip my thoughts off like a switch and enjoy the moment but I cant. How can I deal with my past sexual trauma so that I can enjoy new sexual experiences without having to worry/getting anxious? I want to do stuff with a lot of guys but I never follow through because I am not confident in myself and am always worried that I will disappoint. (Especially being a top, when my ONE job is to get/stay hard) Like I said, I thought these nerves would go away after my breakup but it hasnt. Im worried that every time I go try hook up with a guy, something will happen and I will embarrass myself. Anyone else deal w something similar? Someone help!