I'm ace and I wish I was okay with that
I've identified with asexuality ever since I found out about it in college (about 10 years ago) but the more that time goes on the more I'm struggling with being okay about it. I've NEVER had a sex drive, so I know its ME and not just being on birth control or depression. But conversely, since I've never had a sex drive I've never 'gotten around' to having sex, and I feel like I'd be cheating myself if I swore off sex without ever trying it. It is, as I understand it, supposed to be nice? But yeah between that and the constant bombardment from society that the only way I'll have a long term happy stable relationship/life is to have a sexual relationship with someone, I find myself in a weird place of cognitively KNOWING that what I am and where I'm at is okay, but not being able to really BELIEVE IT.
@calmOcean2348
Hello. I'm sorry to read that you're struggling with your asexuality. It can be confusing sometimes when society expects from you to do something that you don't want to or you don't need to do. I'm aroace and most of my friends at school think that I'm strange because I'm not interested in boys or I haven't been with one. And I used to worry about it until I understood that my happiness does not depend on other people's thoughts. Maybe they (and society) expects something from me, but I know that following a path that has not been made for me would make me miserable, and I would regret betraying myself.
There is nothing bad about "the way we are". I think it all starts with a self acceptance and discovering where our interests lie. Following a path just because everyone goes in that direction may not lead you to where you really want to be. Instead, enjoy your journey and the serendipities.
@calmOcean2348, greetings. My advice is don’t overthink. Being asexual is just as normal as being “sexual”. Think about the social pressure women suffer when they are expected to have babies or getting married. The decision of not having a child is just as normal an natural as the other way around. This is just an example. Sex drive isn’t only a physical matter, if at all. It’s psychological, therefore, you are in no obligation of feeling attracted sexual to anyone. This is not new, there are and always have been people who aren’t interested in sex. Anyway, keep your mind open. Don’t necessarily label yourself. If the right moment / person arrives, who knows you couldn’t change the way you’re feeling right now. Give yourself some slack and try not to worry so much. Let things flow, do what makes you happy and take it day by day, no pressures, no overthinking, no labels. A tight hug. Don’t you’re unique and that’s the beauty of the world. 🌹🌸