my deepest secret..

so, this is like a big secret for me. Well, in real life it is but if you dont know who I am then its not rlly that deep. But, Im in love with my bestfriend. A girl. Yes, Im young, and I probably have no idea what love is but this feels so different too me. And I know it isnt right in Gods eyes (Im a christain) but i try to believe that God will accept me no matter what. Since I was young I knew I liked girls. I thought girls were so pretty and no I didnt rlly get into relationships but I had crushes and everything. But when I liked boys I felt nothing. Anyways, the day I laid eyes on this girl, I knew that she was gonna be the death of me. She is older than me, by like, 3 years, and I know were only friends but something deep inside of me hopes that she likes me a little. Im not saying I want to get into a relationship with her because shes already in one with another girl at my school (yes shes gay also.) but for some reason i also hope theyd just break up. plus her relationship is SO unhealthy. but shes so beautiful. her LONG curly hair, her brown skin, everything about her just amazes me. i have never felt this way about a female before. i just get butterflies around her. i know she doesnt like me. im not that pretty and im not that skinny either but i am madly in love with her and i know ill just always have to stare from afar. its pretty sad, but i dont wanna ruin our friendship either. shes like, the funniest, weirdest person i know and i dont wanna lose that.