idk what's going on
the thing is idk what i want recently i don't want to do anything i don't want to talk with anyone I'm so mean and jealousy I've been neglecting people around me i lost passion for almost everything I've been in this for so long, i don't want anyone at the same time I'm lonely i want new people but idk how to make friendships and i don't feel like the new stages of these things or I'm lying so i won't force myself to try. i want a relationship so bad recently but i hate men so much that i cant bear them i want everyone but i don't want anyone. I'm lost and bored so bored i want new things but I'm not in the mood to try I'm frustrated with my dad so much that i imagine fighting with him before I sleep I'm tired but I'm not idk I'm empty I've always been but I'm feeling it so much recently. i used to answer texts right away but now i don't and if i did I'd want to end the discussion and close the chat.
in the past i loved phone calls so much but i didn't get them alot today my best friend called and she doesn't do that alot but i hung up the phone on her after couple of minutes bc i didn't feel like talking I've never done that I'd never imagine seeing myself doing that i hung up and turned off the wifi so i wouldn't get her call again after couple of minutes i turned it on and answered her text after like 2 hours or less saying that my phone glitched and idk what happened then after like 5 hours or so i felt guilty and told her to call me if she wants after her lecture tmw. but i felt off while talking idk if it was the internet connection or she was busy while I'm talking but i felt silence so i thought why am i even talking why did she call does she want to know what am doing why? I'm hanging up. i don't feel like talking
maybe bc of the divorce or idk maybe I'd prefer hanging with my family more bc they're the people i see the most now. but at the same time i feel bored and want new people but I'm saying this bc after the call i went to my mom and sister and stood with them for some minutes then left
I'm annoyed what is this and by the way I'm 20 so I'm old enough to handle the divorce thing and i already don't like my dad and i even encouraged my mom to do the step
I can relate to the whole first paragraph. Try to write down absolutely everything you could possibly want and choose the ones that seem like they would be good for your mental health. For example, if you're lonely and one part of you wants more people, try to find a few people who could be good for your mental health.
