We Are Girls (WARNING POWERFUL OPINION)
We Are Girls
What has happened to our youth? What has happened to our girls? We used to be so disrespected, and then we had to fight for equality. Now, we throw ourselves to the wolves. Why do we do that? What has changed in society to cause us to act this way? We try and gain other peoples respect, but we can't even respect ourselves. There is one thing to blame. Media.
The media has effected the way teenage girls view themselves in so many ways. How many times have you heard, 'thin is in' or 'sex sells'? These two quotes are a leading factor in what is causing young innocent girls, sometimes as young as six years old, to wear provocative clothing, and skip meals because they believe they are fat. Six years old! And this doesn't go away. The biggest age that media is effecting, is teenagers. High school aged girls. Girls who are already finding it difficult to fit in, and be accepted. I should know, I was one of them.
Studies show that the top issue for teenage girls, is low self esteem and a negative body image. They aren't pretty enough, or skinny enough, or sexy, or beautiful like all the other girls. They feel that they aren't good enough because they don't match what the media is telling them and what the other girls look like. It's funny because all the controversy about the magazines only photoshop and use thin models, and then they come out showing us big is beautiful but they use the beautiful plus size models. I'm not saying that plus size is not beautiful. It is, and I respect these women for their confidence, but you don't see the average plus size women. You only see the models.
I am not skinny. I am considered obese, and I hate the way I look. I still get made fun of for the way I dress, what I eat, how I should be, and it's ridiculous. I do not look like the magazines or actors, or singers. Clothes don't look good on me. My sex factor is less than zero. I am ugly, fat, and as many others call me, disgusting and despicable. High school is hard enough, it feels like Miss America everyday with all these skinny, pretty, beautiful girls. Even the girls who are a little bit larger, are still beautiful! They have confidence in who they are. They look like the girls in the media. Even the girls with their imperfections, are still beautiful! Everyone is beautiful inside and out. What's not beautiful, is people telling you that you aren't. People who bring you down because of the way you look. So what if I'm fat, at least I'm kind.
Girl world is vicious, but the confidence you are born with, is your only shield for the uphill battle into girl world. Yes, we get it, the media will always be there, but the confidence girls are born with, disappear faster and faster, younger and younger, every single day. By the time girls hit high school, they either hate themselves because they have been picked on for not looking like what media says, or they are lucky enough to be thin and sexy, that they have all the attention and everything they want.
As much as I want to preach that only the girls with body issues are the ones effected by media, the 'it' girls also have just as much body issues, and struggling self esteem. They have it all on the outside, but in the inside they aren't happy, but because they have this image that they have it all, they can never ask for help. They are scared of losing what they have because they are admitting to a lower level.
Also the 'it' girls, may look like they have it all, but they are also the ones so deep in an eating disorder, they are on the last years of their life, and they may not even know. But are they going to ask for help? Of course not! They don't want to become like me! Fat, bullied, vulnerable and weak for getting help. They want to keep their status. They want to be what media is telling them to be like, even if it means their life. What about sex sells? We are telling young girls, the only way to be popular and liked, is to sell your sex. The average rate in which teen girls are losing their virginity at, is fifteen. These girls are still babies. They do not have the knowledge in protection, which in my opinion, schools don't give the knowledge. You are to find out when it's too late. They attempt to teach us in middle school, but it is so awkward and uncomfortable and the boys are laughing, so you laugh to 'fit in' and at the same time, you have no clue how to protect yourself. So you can be like the four girls I currently know how are either pregnant, or with a child, at fifteen, or sixteen years old. The youngest teen mom I know, gave birth when she was only thirteen. Why, because the magazines are selling sex, and older guys look for these young girls effected by media, take their sex, and in return give them a child, no father, and a ruined future.
How can we help these girls? You can't tell them not to look at media! That's the way life has become! We need to teach them confidence and give them the inner strength to overcome the powerful pictures of what you should look like. What you should be. Give them the confidence I never got so they can overcome the bullying, the torture of knowing you will never be good enough. Never be beautiful. Show them they are beautiful and don't need to carve the word 'fat' in the fat parts of their body. Honesty, all that 'fat' should mean, is you are extra loving. That you are a little bit more than others, because you have a bigger heart! It's not worth trying to cut the fat off your skin, to skip those meals, to binge and to purge, to wear as little and as slutty clothing as possible, to sleep with any guy because you think it will make you feel more loved. All those things, are not worth it. And if every young girl could hear this message, and truly believe it, it is a start to showing them that we, girls, are the change in this generation, not media.
Listen to me. The girl who has been bullied for 12 years for the way I look, who still is trying to find the courage to overcome the influence of media, and the power I let people have on me. I want to take a stand. A stand for everyone who has ever wanted to change the real them to be what people think should be them. The beautiful girls with confidence, the beautiful girls with no confidence, girls fresh from the whom, women who have lived their life, and will end soon, girls of any race, age, religion, sexuality. We girls, need to stick together and fight to beat the power of the media. We need to be a team, and not hurt each other. We need to respect ourselves for who we are. We need to respect everyone else we see. We need to prove that we are worth it. This isn't the olden days when we have no rights and are treated like the lesser. We are powerful. We have our freedom and rights. We are girls, and we are all beautiful!
-Cat 2014
@MusicGal - What breaks my heart the most reading this is how little has changed in the two years since you have posted it. I think we are making slow gains in society in terms of representation in media, but like you mentioned, even when we broaden the definition of beauty to include a range of sizes, other elements don't change. But I do believe that we can get there and that we can continue to make gains and pick up speed in them, and I'm hopeful that we will see that happen sooner rather than later!
@Anomalia
Thank you so much for replying to this! It's funny because I was actually looking at this a week ago thinking the same thing and writing an analysis on it. Slowly we are getting better, but I think in other areas we are getting worse. People know that 'media isn't real', but we are still fighting day in and day out to be accepted. No matter what you do you will never be good enough in society's standards. (too thin, too fat, prude, slut, dumb, nerd, feminist (in a bad way), not caring enough, tom boy, girly girly) and all meant to be in an insulting and negative way. Being older and having some self confidence helps a lot of people, but what about young girls being influecned by these contant messages that they will never be good enoguh. What does that do to their self esteem and development?
I apologize for my long rant, I call is passion.