@elli025
Part 2
My sister was then born. She was the new baby in the family and it showed. At around this time I was diagnosed with a lot of mental disorders. (ADHD, ADD, ODD, OCD, PTSD and anxiety) As I was still so young, I didn’t really understand why I needed to take medication everyday, multiple times a day. I was forced to take medication, I didn't have an option. At this time I was still having calls with my mom, she always promised to see me, but then she would never show up. I would occasionally be able to see my little brother. He had a teddy bear named ‘Kyleigh bear.’ At this point I had turned 7! We had just moved into our new home and I was going to be starting a new school. I thought this was a new beginning, away from my past I could make new friends. I started school, but was continuously having behavioral issues due to my talkativeness. I was trying my best to make friends but I never could keep any. I finished the 2nd grade and was moving onto 3rd grade! Behind the scenes a lot was happening. My stepmom started to get more controlling and aggressive. So I started 3rd grade and I tried my best to make friends but I was constantly getting yelled at in class for talking. Around this age I started to pull my hair. I wasn’t sure why I was doing it, but it was uncontrollable. I couldn’t stop even when I put all my effort into trying. I went from therapist to therapist trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was getting severely bullied at this point. Nobody wanted to be my friend or talk with me. I felt so alone. My hair pulling eventually got so bad, my stepmom decided it was best to shave my head. I was only about 8 when she shaved it the first time. I tried and tried and tried to stop pulling but I just couldn’t do it. Around this time, my mom started calling less frequently, and my dad and stepmom started getting into my head. They started getting into my head that my mom was a bad person because she was a drug addict. That she was a bad mom and she shouldn’t be part of my life. Then one night, she called and I answered and I told her that I don’t want her to be in my life anymore, then I hung up. (As I look back at that, it tears me up inside, because I want her back.) Then starts 4th grade! I was at a new school at this time. Again I thought it would be a new beginning. My stepmom started to become very frustrated with me because I just couldn’t stop. She just wanted me to stop so she could have a normal daughter with hair. My first day of this new school I wore a beanie so that nobody could see that I didn't have hair. As a young girl I felt so ugly. I felt that I was disgusting looking and I just wanted to look like any other girl. Again, I was constantly getting into trouble for talking and disrupting class. The kids in class would severely bully me when they found out that I didn’t have any hair. Things at home weren’t very good either. I was constantly grounded, and my stepmom began to yell a lot more. I spent lots of time in my room, playing with my legos and listening to music. I was my escape for the outside world. I kept to myself most days so I didn’t cause issues with my stepmom. I was still pulling my hair at this time. I was diagnosed with Trichotillomania around this time. I was put on new medication, but none of the medication seemed to work. All they did was not make me hungry so I was always underweight.