Please answer... it's urgent

I wanted to post this online but then decided against it and since I wanted someone to listen to me I found this site. I don't know anything about it so please forgive me if I'm doing anything wrong. Also I know what I typed is weird but that's because I felt better about it when I didn't think about it in detail.

- I was at the cousins birthday party - celebrating 18 years.

- I drank a lot - important to mention that I don't drink.

- I danced with a guy - naming him John.

- I was being flirty with John - subtle but noticable.

- I was standing against a wall - John was pressed against me.

- the next part is blured in my memory -

- I was leaning on to John because of the alcohol in my system.

- John kissed me - important to mention that I didn't kiss back.

- John touched me - important to mention that I didn't say no.

- I was trying to remove Johns hands but after a while I gave up.

After that he left the party and I did too. I wasn't in shock until morning. I feel ashamed of myself because I didn't say no to him and I feel like I gave consent with that. I feel slutty just writing and thinking about it. It was my first time being drunk at the party and I never let anyone in my personal space and I don't think I'm going to let anyone go near me. I didn't want to talk to my parents because I don't want them to know, they have been through a lot because of me, my depression. Also I'm 17 by year and I don't know what to do about this whole situation. It's eating me and I just want to forget about it since I know I can't change it. I also tried chat listeners or something like that but it didn't help - the people I talked to are newbies like me. Sorry english is not my first language... and my words or sentences or something is all over the place.

Have a nice day and please respond. Anyone.