New Grad Struggles at “Home”
I hate being back “home”. And I put that in quotes bc it doesn’t feel like home to me when my mother still thinks she has a say in my decision making and what to do and when to do it. Right now she’s insisting on going over job positions and to apply to them (since I just graduated uni). I want to tell her that I can do that by myself bc I’m an adult and no other college grad is going over job applications with their parents and having their parents pick out positions and telling them what to apply to. But it’s so much easier texting her that from a distance than telling her straight up while living under the same roof as her. I dread being around her bc she spikes my anxiety and causes me to shut down n stuff. Idk how to not do that yet. And I can’t afford actual therapy yet. I’m having so much trouble. Wish I was back at my dorm living on my own but also had plenty of money to pay for things on my own.
Em i can understand.it's gon' be fine
I remember feeling very similar. I never moved back home after uni- I moved to the opposite coast and started immediately working BUT I always came home for holidays and breaks. I can remember being as old as 25, 27 even and still having a curfew!!! It’s really a hard position to be in as an adult, having grown accustomed to living away and then being back under your parents roof and watch. Even if it’s just temporary. My advice is, try to get out more. Hang with friends if you can and try to keep busy outside of the house. And when you are at home just do your best to mind your manners and stay under the radar. It won’t help anyone to blow up at your parents and it’ll just make you feel bad later. I know that feeling of spiked anxiety as you say… it’s the worse feeling. But just take a deep breath, say something nice and go find your happy place. Go for a walk, go outside and sit in the garden, go to your friends house, take your laptop and go find a quiet place ..:: do whatever you can not to shut down. You need to keep your head up and keep your spirits high and find a way to stay motivated. This too shall pass.
