Nascent Being - An archive of experiences
k with my dramatic feelings....I tried.
Today, I tried to not just daydream but move to action from theory, or rather specifically from clouds of daydreaming to materializing those dreams.
From trying to imagine and show that I can be, to actually trying to be.
The merciless quest of excellence contained everything but the actual work. Incessant planning took me nowhere without the discipline to carry out.
The world of regret reared his head up once in a while earlier, and then made itself at home quickly. Paying visit like a loyal soldier that slays until it gets slayed. Hence, the actual work was the last choice I had that I could make. I mean it took me years. But I DID IT, today. ONE STEP AT A TIME. I DID IT.
And therefore, I would like to share it with whomsoever is reading this, that for me no amount of knowledge from people and books can drove me into action, outside may be momentarily, until I just showed up and did what needed to be done. And eventually, it got easier. Fighting my laziness, and sense of self-worthlessness took me time. It felt like an endless battle, as if I would never get through the other side. But the changes were small and subtle, which is why I couldn't notice them but they were there. Evidently. Just not to me yet.
Hang in there. The journey is messy, accompanied with tears (if you are the crying type like me). But you are making progress, even when you feel like you aren't.
Sending loads of love. You are worth it, and I believe in you, even if you don't.
I learnt that calmness works better than anger, depending on the context.
Speak up and things will move along.
Procrastinate on procrastination.
The larger system works in weird ways, it may not be designed to help you. So you will have to be proactive.
Always maintain a good relationship with college administration and library staff.
Networking and PERSISTENCE is very IMPORTANT.
There will always be an exception to the rule. So negotiate your way into being an exception.
Having a friend by your side goes a long way.
“There were people who went to sleep last night,
poor and rich and white and black,
but they will never wake again.
And those dead folks would give anything at all
for just five minutes of this weather
or ten minutes of plowing.
So you watch yourself about complaining.
What you're supposed to do
when you don't like a thing is change it.
If you can't change it,
change the way you think about it.”
―
“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.” ― Letter to My Daughter
Everybody finds the way to the knowledge differently. Don't beat yourself up for not knowing it in advance or acquiring it in the way others have.